So Gross

Dear Claire,

Here's something that's absolutely horrifying: beautiful girls making themselves ugly.  How do they do it?

One word - spitting.

Spitting is the most disgusting habit.  It looks ugly, sounds ugly, and leaves an ugly spot on the sidewalk for some innocent person to later walk through.

When I was in grade eight, there was a girl who spit approximately thirty times each recess. Seriously, recess was only fifteen minutes long, and she'd spend at least twenty-five percent of it spitting. 

I don't know if she had some kind of "over-producing saliva" illness or just the desire to look tough, but either way, it was nasty. 

Anyway, the sick part is this.  She was such a cute girl, she was funny and full of life.  But my God, did that spitting make her look awful, not to mention our little piece of concrete that would be covered in her bodily fluids each day.

Please don't spit Claire, there is nothing attractive, or necessary about it.

Oh and p.s. - if you ever spit on someone - you will be in more trouble than you can imagine.

Lecture over - Love you!

  

Timeless Tuesday - Barbra

Dear Claire,

What could be more timeless than an incredible voice, winning an Oscar, Emmy, Grammy and Tony, selling 150 million albums worldwide and being super chic?

My Prayer for You

Dear Claire,

One of my prayers for you, is that at some point, preferably between the ages of nine and fifteen, you become enthralled with a boy band.

There is no greater feeling (maybe I'm slightly exaggerating) then being "in love" with a boy band.  Here's why:

#1. There are usually a few boys in the group and you get to pick which one you like the best.  You'll probably have a lot of things in common with him like eating ice cream and swimming at the beach.

#2.  Whenever your bored or can't fall asleep, you can plan out exactly what you will say to him if you meet.  This conversation will always go wonderfully and will end with him asking you out on a date.

#3.  Until you meet him in real life you can simply talk to the doll version of him.

#4.  A boy band is the perfect (and possibly only) excuse to by copious amounts of Bop and Tiger Beat magazines.  I, as your mother, will happily indulge in this with you and will let you put up posters all over your room (using sticky tack).

#5. You can learn all the words to all their songs; once you've accomplished this you'er an official fan.

#6. You can learn all their dance moves and then perform them for your Dad, Jack, and I.  We will love it!

#7. Not only can you go to their concert when they're at their height; you can check them out again twenty years later at their reunion tour!

Boy Bands.  Amen.

Love you!



No Means No

Dear Claire,

If you've already read the post explaining that 'yes means yes', then you've probably guessed that 'no means no'.

Equally important as doing what you say you're going to do, is not doing what you say you won't.

If somebody asks you to do something, and you don't want to do it - say no. 

However, don't say no, and then an hour later "change your mind".  If you do this, than people will never believe you when you say "no".  They will continue to pressure and persuade you, believing that you will eventually change your mind. 

More than anything, you want people to believe you when you say "no".

If you don't know whether you want to do something or not, just say "I don't know, let me think about it for awhile".  The best thing about this phrase is the word "awhile", this could mean thinking about it for an hour, a day, or a year!  You've given yourself all the time you need to make a decision without committing to anything. 

If you use the world "no" a few times with people, and you stand by that answer, than soon enough, as soon as they hear you say "no", they will believe you.  Then you can live your life how you want to, not how others would like you to.

Love you, even when you say "no" to me (which at this point is about forty times a day).

"NO! I will not open my eyes for this picture!"



"No, this is really not my problem."



"No....I won't have these chubby cheeks forever so you better pinch them now!"



"No.  I will wear whatever I want before 8am."

"No, I swear there's nothing in my mouth."



"I don't even have to say "no" and I'll still get my message across."

Timeless Tuesdays - The Kitchen Aid Mixer

Dear Claire,

Few things are timeless. 

Timless means that regardless how much time passes, people still have an appreciation and fondness for a person, item or experience. 

Each week I'll focus on something that I think is either already timeless or will become timeless. You can let me know twenty years from now, whether I was right...or not.

How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways...

Yes Means Yes

Dear Claire,

This advice is super easy to say, but not always easy to follow.

It is simply that, yes means yes.

Incorporating this phrase into your values will improve many of your relationships, whether with friends, significant others, people at work, and those in your community.

What does 'yes means yes' mean?

It means that if you say you're going to do something, you're going to do it.

I know you're probably thinking that this seems pretty easy, but for most people, including myself sometimes, it's not.

The trick to being able to live by this rule is this: take time to think about something before agreeing to do it.

Ask yourself: is this something I really want to do?  What if it takes longer than expected, do I want to put in extra time?  Will I find personal fullfillment in this?  Will I enjoy spending time with the other people involved?  Do I have the energy to do this?

Remember, there are very few situations where you have to give a 'yes or no' answer immediately, yet most people feel that this is what they have to do.

Don't.

Take the time to think about something before you agree to it, especially if it's going to be something that may impact you in the long-term.

Obviously there's going to be times when you can't keep a committment, just don't let this become a constant, or people will lose their faith and trust in you.

Love you when you follow through!

Peer Pressure....It's All in Your Head

Dear Claire,

Movies, public television commercials, and sitcoms would all have you believe that one day, you're going to be standing next to a brick wall and someone is going to offer you a cigarette.  The person offering it to you is going to have three or four friends behind them and they are all going to be staring you down, waiting in anticipation for you to give your answer...will you or will you not try the smoke???? 

Don't worry, this isn't how it happens in real life.  You're never going to be suddenly surronded by people on the playground forcing you to try smoking, drinking or drugs.

However, one day you will be at a party or hanging around the school and someone will very casually offer you a smoke/drink.  It will probably be someone you know, most likely it will be one of your friends. 

Let me, let you in, on a big secret: they really don't care whether you smoke or drink. 

They're just being polite and offering you some.  They would probably prefer that you didn't because then they don't have to share.

So be equally polite, if you don't want it, then just say "no thanks, not my thing right now, but you enjoy it". 

It's the perfect answer.  And trust me, they're not going to argue with you.  They're not going to surround you and push cigarettes or beer bottles in your face. 

And don't ever worry that someone might not be your friend anymore if you don't do what they're doing.  I've never lost a friend over that, and come to think of it, I don't know anyone who has.

As long as you're confident in yourself, peer pressure doesn't exist.  It's just something that people who make decisions based on their own fear of losing friends created.

Love Mom


Readers - what are your thoughts???

Here are some of my favourite fake-shots of peer pressure...and my own ideas of what they're saying.

"You better drink this or you're out of the preppy gang!"

"C'mon Julie, I know we're only 10 years old but, we stole this from our Grandpa, and you better smoke it"

"Look guys, I already told you, knee-socks are my thing.  I won't stop wearing them no matter what you do to me!"

"Join our cult immediately...or else."

The Catch-22 of Self-Esteem

Dear Claire,

Just when you thought being a young woman couldn't get any more complicated...

Mothers, fathers, teachers, youth workers, and Dove commercials have all it made their goal to increase your self-esteem.  That's right, we want you to belive you're smart, fun, driven, and of course, beautiful.  We want you to avoid eating disorders, feeling too fat, feeling too skinny, feeling like you have bad skin, feeling like you have bad hair, the list goes on and on and on.

There's a catch though...because you're a girl, you can't actually tell anybody that you feel good about your appearance.  God forbid you like your face, hair and thighs and actually say that out loud - you'll be immediately delegated as the girl who "thinks she's better than everybody else".  Other girls will come sprinting out of the woodwork to inform you why you're not so perfect after all.  Phrases like "who does she think she is?" and "she's not that pretty" will be thrown around behind your back for days to follow.

So my darling, you might ask - what's a girl to do?

1. Know that everyone, in their own way is beautiful and that on the day each one of us was born, someone held us and wept thinking we were the most wonderful person that ever lived.

2. Give compliments.  Everyone loves getting a compliment regardless of whether it's about a new pair of shoes, a great grade at school, or scoring a goal.  Find something about everyone that can be appreciated, and share that appreciation for others out loud.

3. Accept compliments properly.  In other words, say "thank you, that is so kind of you".  Don't every reject a compliment - that's just bad karma!

4. Remember that confidence (not cockiness) makes people more enjoyable to be around, so don't ever deny you believe in yourself and don't ever pretend to be less than you are.

5. Lastly, if another girl ever asks "Claire, do you think your pretty?", just say "yes, and I think you are too".  It's hard to hate someone who just complimented you.

Love you because you know you're one of a kind!

Mom

How to leave a comment/become a follower

How to Become a Follower and Leave a Comment on this Blog

Hi all! Thanks for stopping by. I've been wanting to do a post on 'how to become a follower' and 'how to leave a comment' on this blog. I've talked to a few people that have no idea how to do either, so I thought I'd help you out!

How to become a follower

Firstly, why would you want to be a follower of this or any blog? Basically just to let the author know that people out there are reading and enjoying their blog. There are two ways you can follow a blog, publicly or by email. To follow by email you just type your email address into the box under FOLLOW BY EMAIL and click submit. You will then get email notifications whenever the blog gets updated. You can also follow using Google friend connect. The difference here is that others can see your profile picture (if you choose to have one) and user name on the side pane of my blog. Notice my public followers? I have currently have three!

Anyone can sign up to follow by email (as long as you have an email address), but in order to publicly follow a blog you need to have one of the following accounts:

-Google
-Twitter
-Yahoo
-AIM
-Net log
-Open ID (includes Blogger, Yahoo, Flickr, AOL, Word Press, My Space and a few others) Click here for more information on Open ID.

You can create a Google account or twitter account just to follow this blog, but if you don't have any of these it's probably easier to sign up for the emails.

How to Leave a Comment

I love it when people leave comments, either on the blog or on Facebook. I would still write the blog even if I got no feedback, but it's still nice when people leave me messages! It can be a little intimidating if you're new to the blogging world and aren't sure what to do. To leave a comment, click on the '0 Comments' link (or if there are previous comments it will have the number of comments instead of '0') at the end of the post. You can either reply to a previous comment, or leave a new comment. A text box will open where you can 'enter your comment...'.

When you're finished, you can choose how to sign your comment from a drop down list. If you have a Google account you can sign in and your Google user name will appear once you click 'publish'. There are other accounts you could use as well such as Live Journal, Word Press etc. Or you can sign off with your name regardless of whether you have a Google account. To do this, click on Name/URL from the drop down list. Here you can enter your name and you have the option to enter the URL of your website or blog if you have one - but this isn't required!

Lastly, you can sign off as anonymous. In this case you would just choose Anonymous from the drop down list. I can usually tell who these people are based on the nature of the comment, but sometimes I have no idea!

Don't forget to click Publish when you're finished typing your comment!

Hope this helps. Remember, you can always leave a comment below if you have any questions ;-)


(Thanks to Jessica of http://ellaandharry.blogspot.ca for letting me "copy" her post on this topic!!!)

Tune Out and Glaze Over

Dear Claire,
One day you're going to be at work and something really frustrating is going to happen.  Maybe someone else got the position you were hoping for, maybe you bombed a presentation, or maybe you were even "let go".

No matter what happens at work, don't cry.

This (sadly) is even more important if your boss is a man because he will either a) see you as a terribly weak employee or b) feel sorry for you, and trust me, you don't need anyone's pity in the workplace.

This (even more sadly) is important if your boss is a woman because her claws will immediately come out as she labels you (in her mind) as some sad little girl who can't handle the real world.

So if shit hits the fan at work, tune out, glaze over, say in the most sincere voice you can muster: "thank you for that suggestion".  Then hide in the office washroom to quietly shed some tears.

This may be difficult, but not as difficult as facing your boss and/or colleagues the next day after you let mascara run down your red, wet face onto their nice shiny desk.

Worse of all however, is using crying, in an attempt to get what you want.  It is your hard work and how you handle yourself during difficult periods that will get you ahead in the workplace - not a sob story.

So my dear, when at work, hold it together.  You can call me when you get home, i'll come over, and you can cry as long as you want.  I won't tell anyone.

Love you more than any boss ever will!

Mom

p.s. - Oprah is exempt from this rule because she is a billionaire.  Once you are a billionaire you are allowed to cry anywhere, anytime and you can dry your tears with thousand-dollar bills.

BFF's

Dear Claire,


One of the most important things you'll ever do is choose your friends.  You can choose friends who will make your life more stressful.  These are the friends who will create drama on a daily basis, who will talk about you behind your back, and who you'll never truly be able to rely on or trust.  Or you can choose the other type of friends, those who will actually make your life much easier and enjoyable. 

Now don't worry if you lose some friends along the way.  Some people aren't meant to travel life's whole journey with you.  Just like your hopes and dreams, your friends will change too.  Some friends will fit into all the seasons of your life, and others just belong in the beginning, the middle, or the end.  The important thing is, that you have friends for each part.  Someone to share your peaks and valleys with.  And if a friend isn't there for you in the valley, then as disappointing as it is, you know in your heart that they aren't meant to be your friend any longer.

How to Recognize a True Friend:

1. A friend will not leave you at a party, bar, or store without letting you know first.

2. If you are too intoxicated, a friend will not leave you at a party or bar no matter what.

3. Regardless of how their life is at the moment, a friend will be happy for you when things are going well in yours.  Feeling joy and not jealousy is the mark of a true friend!

4. A friend won't date your ex-boyfriend because deep down, you may still like him just a little bit, and she values your friendship way more.

5. A friend will let you copy their homework 10 minutes before class.

6. A friend will love you despite your faults, quirks, and bad habits. 

7. A friend will understand that once you have a boyfriend you're going to spend less time with her. Even though it's a really crappy feeling, she'll still be there for you and won't hold it against you. 

8. A friend will stick up for you whether you're there to hear it or not.

9. A friend won't tell you the truth if it's going to hurt you, unless you really need to hear it.

10. A friend will listen to you talk/cry/complain for hours about your ex-boyfriend and still be there for you if you get back together with him (even though she knows you're going to break-up again).

11. A friend knows that you're going to grow, and that means changing.  A true friend will love you even more as you change and will enjoy getting to know the new you each time.

12...to all my readers...add your "true friend definition" for Claire in the comment section! You can use your account or just post under 'anonymous' if you want :)

Love you and love your friends!

Don't Regret Your Regrets

Dear Claire,

For some reason, it has become the new thing to "have no regrets".  I constantly hear people saying that they have no regrets because if it weren't for their mistakes they wouldn't be where they are today.

Mommy thinks that's mostly b.s.

There are some mistakes that you'll make in life that you shouldn't regret because you really will learn something from them.  Most of this blog is made up of lessons that I learned the hard way, and if I hadn't taken those risks, I probably wouldn't be the person I am today.

However, there is nothing wrong with having regrets because for most of the mistakes you'll make, you should have already known better.  The lesson didn't need to be learned, it already had been, you simply forgot that you knew it or you chose to ignore it.  When this is the case, you better regret it, or you'll just do it again.

I regret being cruel to people when I was younger instead of trying to get to know them better.  I regret judging people before I knew their story.  I reget not being more honest in past relationships and friendships.  I regret hiding my insecurities.  I regret talking when I should have been listening.  I regret not telling people how I really felt at the time.  I regret making decisions based on fear.  I regret rushing when I should have slowed down.

I knew better, even at the time.
 
Have some regrets and don't feel bad about having them, just try not to repeat them.

Love you even when you make mistakes - mom.

P.S. - I also regret wearing purple tapered jeans, huge blue eye glasses and sweatshirts with loons on them. Horrifying.