Friday, August 10, 2012

Marry Your Father - Part 1

Dear Claire,

If you decide to get married one day, 'who' you are going to marry is going to be one of the biggest decisions of your life. 

If I could offer you any advice about who you should marry, it is simply: marry your father.

Okay, obviously you're not going to actually marry your father, but seriously, try to find someone like him.

Here are the qualities that your dad has that make him a great husband...

1. He enjoys his job.  This might seem strange if you're reading this when you're fifteen, but trust me, the work week is long and you want to be with someone who is happy during those forty hours each week.  If your husband is miserable all day he'll probably be miserable when he gets home.  So look for a man who found a career he's excited (or at least content in) about.

2. He has a backbone.  At some point you may find yourself attracted to a guy who will let you do whatever you want and always lets you get your way.  This will get old fast. You'll never grow as a person or as a couple if this is the dynamic of your relationship.  Find someone who challenges you to become a better person, wife, and mother - your marriage, and your life, will be much more fulfilling this way.

3. He is responsible (but not boring!). Recklessness and craziness is great when you're young but, probably not the best qualities to look for in a husband.  I can always count on your dad to be there for us.  I know he's not going to make any big decisions without me.  I know he's going to be responsible with our finances, our health and safety, our home, and our children.  He's not going to lose our car in a poker game or forget to pick the kids up from daycare.  A responsible husband will mean you can sleep peacefully at night.

4. He's a great father!  If you want to have children, then make sure the person you marry wants them to.  Make sure they don't just want children so they can play catch or go to movies together.  Make sure they want to do all the things a father should do, even the hard stuff, and especially the 'day-in and day-out' stuff like making meals, giving baths, and changing diapers.  Your dad has gone above and beyond in this category!!!

5. He loves us.  He loves me, he loves you and he loves your brother.  That's what you need to find above all else.  Someone who will love you unconditionally, through the good, the bad and the ugly, just like your father does.

Love to see you with someone who loves you


  1. I couldn't have said this any better, Lindsay. So true on all counts.

    1. Thanks Jeanne...I'm no expert on marriage yet (only four years in) but I think those things will be true for a long time.