Bliss

Dear Claire,

As you grow out of your childhood you are going to find that, in general, life gets more complicated.  As these complexities begin to find their way into your daily life you will find it more and more difficult to live in the moment and really enjoy each experience for what it is.

I think the definition of childhood is simply a person who can live in the exact moment that they're in, all day, every day.  This becomes harder to do as we age and take on more responsibilities and build more relationships.

It's absolutely crucial however, that you don't entirely lose this gift of being in the moment, especially in times of pure joy and contentment.

There are only a few times, looking back (I'm 31 years old right now!) that I really sat inside my feelings of joy.  Only a handful of moments, that I really focused on all of my senses so that I would remember, not the details, but the actual feelings of joy I was having.

I can remember with absolute clarity driving to Port Dover, with my best friends in high school on a summer day.  The sunroof was open, I was in the middle-back seat and we had the radio blaring as we sang along to every song the whole way there. 

I can remember sitting at my desk looking out the window at 555 Water Street in Peterborough doing my "reading" for the week.  I remember knowing that this way of life, of reading, thinking, sharing, and writing being my only work, was so incredible and that it would not last forever.  In that moment I felt one-hundred percent contentment and so grateful to have this part of my life.

One of the best pieces of advice I received was right before our wedding day, it was to step back, at several points throughout the day, and take everything in.  I'm so glad I remembered to do that because this entire day was pure joy and I can still feel my cheeks hurting at the end of the night from smiling so much.

The early morning you were born I remember like it was  yesterday.  That day, without a doubt, was the happiest moment of my life.  I had never been so overwhelmed with feelings of immediate love until they placed you on my chest.  I just kept you there for almost an hour and I'm so glad I just let time go by because that moment can never exist again, except within me.

I love you beauty and I pray that you will have so many moments of happiness to look back on.


Mommy and Daddy getting married...such a great day!

You only a few hours old...my little love at first sight

Mommy in university with her fantastic friend Krista...pure dancing joy!

Mommy with Leanne...happiness is when you can tell someone anything and they'll still love you!  In this picture we had our whole lives in front of us and we were just so excited to get started :)

Work With What You've Got!

Dear Claire,

This one is going to be short and sweet.

Never. Ever. Ever. Perm. Your. Hair. 

Never.

You my dear have been blessed with beautiful brown hair. It's gorgeous!  It's not a wishy-washy colour, it's nice dark brown hair and you have the most perfect blue eyes to go with it.  The thing about your hair is that it's straight.  Embrace the straightness!  Say hello to smooth pony-tails and braids!  Any length will work, you can have a bob cut, a pixie, or hair down past your shoulders - it will all look great.

If you are feeling bored with your hair (and we all do sometimes) then do any of the following:

1) Add a few hi-lights
2) Get bangs or grow them out if you already have them
3) Add some waves with a curling iron
4) Buy some new hair accessories
5) Get a great new cut

Don't get a perm.  No matter how much you love curls, they aren't meant for your hair, otherwise you would have been born with curls.  Curls for one night - great!  Waiting six months for a bad perm to grow out - nightmare. 

Love you!
Mom

P.S. - putting lemon juice in brown hair and then lying in the sun for five hours is also a really bad idea.

Fearless Woman #3 - The One You're Related To

Dear Claire,

Don't be fooled by all of my 'Fearless Woman' entries being about famous people thus far!  You don't have to become a mega star to be fearless; the proof is in the women around you. 

Believe it or not, you come from a long line of many fearless women!  Now before we go into details it is important to know there is a huge difference between being fearless and being reckless.  Most women are reckless at some point in life, mostly between ages 14-24, when you will most likely make some pretty crazy (and sometimes dangerous!) choices.  Being reckless is part of growing up, and for the most part it's imperative because you will learn from some of these impulsive decisions (hopefully the first time around and with very little physical and emotional damage).  Being fearless however, means making a conscious decision, and even though you know the journey and the end point will be difficult, you do it anyway, because you believe the lasting outcome will be worth it.

Fearless Female Relative #1: Dr. Andrea Pomeroy (also known as Auntie Andrea)

Auntie Andrea is a real brainy butt-kicker!  After spending years doing a ton of environment saving/protection projects she moved all the way to Vancouver, BC and earned her PH.D!  Can you imagine being only 23 years old and moving all the way across the country alone?  She didn't know a single person living there!  Since then she's challenged herself by speaking at huge conferences, spending 3 months in a tent in Alaska, and climbing to the top of an 80 metres high wind turbine. 

Fearless Female Relative #2: Aunt Jeannie

Aunt Jeannie is fearless in a whole other realm; she is fearless with her emotions and her heart. Many years ago Aunt Jeannie had two wonderful children, Tammy Shannon and Shane Aaron.  Unfortunately, they were both born with a very rare, and at the time, unknown illness.  The illness had no name and only the symptoms, not the cause, could be treated.  These beautiful children spent many of their days living in the hospital until they passed away, Shannon at seventeen months old and Shane, shortly after his second birthday.  
Losing a child is the most horrific thing any mother can imagine; it is a pain that I literally cannot describe and pray I never have to.  
Eighteen years later, Aunt Jeannie decided to have another baby.  Medical innovations had occurred and the illness that she had lost both Shannon and Shane to had now been named and the cause determined. Despite her fears and the overwhelming pain of losing two children, Jeannie decided to make an extremely courageous decision and brought little Samantha into the world.  This is a fearlessness that only mothers who have been through the same suffering can understand.  Jeannie was brave beyond belief in her willingness to once again open her heart to a new life and nurture a new love.

       

Fearless Female Relative #3:  Teaghan Frauley

Did you know that your cousin Teaghan is a true warrior?  When she was just three years old Teaghan was diagnosed with Leukemia.  We were all so worried about her because she seemed so small to be so sick.  Little did we know that even though she was only a toddler; Teaghan was a fearless woman-in-training!  She was so brave through all the pokes and prodding, through the vomitting and exhaustion, and even through losing her hair.  Since then Teaghan has helped her family raise tens of thousands of dollars and donated all of it to The Hospital For Sick Kids - what an amazing young woman!  Here's a picture of her on her "Officially Cured" day:

Well Claire-Bear, these are just three of your 'Fearless Female Relatives'; there are many more!  Can you imagine what it would have been like for your Great-Nani Goepfrich to get on a boat and move all the way from Hungary to Canada?  What about your Great-Nana Chessum who took wonderful care of her husband who was paralyzed at a young age?  You even have a Great-Aunt Cathy who helps run an orphanage living in Sierra Leone!  You have so many amazing women in your family so you will never have to look far for inspiration.  Just think - being fearless is in your blood!  You were born fearless so it is up to you to rise to the challenge that you choose.

Love you a hundred times,
Mom

One is enough

Dear Claire,

One super annoying thing about being a woman is that people (and by people I mean everyone) will always be asking whether you have a boyfriend.

Grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends you haven't seen lately, friends you saw the day before, pretty much everyone, will always want to know whether you are part of a couple.

This line of questioning will grow worse in your late twenties as people start to nod their heads nervously if your answer is "no".   If you are thirty years old and not engaged, married or dead then you've survived!  People will no longer ask in fear of sending you into a downward sprial of single breakdown.

In the meantime, if you ever get tired of answering whether you're single, have a date for prom, are seeing anyone special, etc.. simply say "Why bring sand to the beach?" and then just smile. 

Love you when you're single girl!

Mom

Grandma Love is the Best Love

Dear Claire,

There is something very unique and special about the love of a Grandmother.  Growing up I was lucky to have this special love from my Nani (that's your Grandma's Mom).  Although I  loved my Grandma-Pomeroy very much, I had an exceptionally close relationship with Nani. 

I am so grateful for all the time I spend with my Nani!  When I was a little girl she would take me to McDonald's for chicken mcnuggets (a real treat!), buy me water paints and paper dolls (my favourites!) and always let me look at all her old pictures (my most favourite thing in the whole world to do!).  I would ask her all sorts of questions and she would share with me all her stories of growing up, getting married, having her children, and all the things she learned along the way.

As I got older, we spent our time together differently, I would help her clean her house, take her out for lunch or shopping, and talk on the phone (she loved celebrity gossip!).  What I felt most from Nani was unconditional love.  She wouldn't lecture, or nag, or offer advice when it wasn't asked for.  As your mother, I reserve the right to do those things.  I will lecture, nag, and offer advice (hello! I'm writing a whole blog of un-asked for advice!).  I will do these things and still love you unconditionally; it might just not always feel that way.

I hope that you have a special relationship with your Grandma Pomeroy;  there is so much you can learn from and with her.

She can teach you how to sew, quilt and smock.  How to cook the best lasagna and spare ribs.  How to bake the best apple crisp, cherry-cheesecake, and short-bread cookies.  How to make jam, preserve pickles and beets.  How to plant the most beautiful garden and how to perfectly arrange flowers in a vase or bowl.

But the true learning will come from the conversations you have while doing these things together.

You can ask Grandma about living in Vanessa and Tillsonburg and what it was like going to a one-room school house!  Ask about the witch who ran the store where she bought candy from.  Find out what it was like living on a farm and all the animals they had.  Ask about going to Huron Park and what subject she liked the most - she'll even tell you who her favourite teacher was.  Find out how she burned her leg and had to wear pants all summer so that her parents wouldn't find out what happened.  Ask how she met Grandpa and why she couldn't drink alcohol at their wedding.  Ask what Mommy and Auntie Andrea were like as little babies, children, and teenagers.

Ask, ask, ask.

I promise you, these will be the best conversations you ever have, and you'll look back one day and be so grateful that you had them.

Love you non-stop,
Mom

Fearless Woman #2 - Maya Angelou

Dear Claire,

To me the definition of a "fearless woman" is not a woman without fear.  In fact, she is a woman with many fears, but she is strong enough and brave enough to conquer them.

One fearless woman that all people (man or woman) should aspire to more like, is Maya Angelou.  Her list of accomplishments is too long for this blog but include publishing six autobiographies, five books of essays, numerous books of poetry, and is also credited with a long list of plays, movies, and television shows.  What a talent!

Being a female writer alone does not make one fearless.  What makes Maya so special is that she writes about her own life, and nothing is harder to write about, than one's own experiences.  She is willing to share her humiliations, her faults, her failures, her poor choices, and all that she learned from them.  As if that is not enough - she's African American!  An African-American Woman, willing to write her truth during a time of deep and unforgiving racism; now that is fearlessness.  

Many women, especially those who are "proud" and "strong", would never be willing to share their stories.  Never admit their wrongs or the wrongs committed against them for fear that others would judge them.  Maya shows that this type of opening-up is what makes a writer, and a woman, proud and strong. 


Did mommy mention that she writes some of my favourite poems?    Here are some for you to enjoy:

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Maya Angelou

 

 

Seriously? You're either a runner or a heel - you're not allowed to be both.

Dear Claire,

There are very few pieces of fashion or trends that I truly despise.  You may choose to embrace these trends just to spite me and I will accept that. It's true however, that I will cringe every time you walk out the door into public.  And I will cringe a second time for all of the innocent eyes that are laid on you in some ridicuous get-up.  And I will cringe a third and final time for your future eyes that will one day look back at pictures of yourself and want to cry.

The one thing I will forbid you to ever wear is the platform running shoe. This shoe is wrong on all levels.  It makes no sense.  It is unattractive.  It doesn't look right with pants or a skirt. It is neither here nor there.  It's the equivlent of wearing a clown wig all day on your feet.  They should be collected like the books in "Fahrenheit 451' and burned in the town square.

Please honey, promise mommy you'll never wear these??? Please?

Love Mom