Dear Claire,
Life is funny, in that just when you think you have something figured out, it goes and changes. Fashion is like that, hair is like that, and bigger things like religion, the environment, our government, your values, the way you feel about yourself, and the way you feel about others, will always seem to be changing.
But don't worry, I figured out what the most intelligent thing you can ever say is. It's simple, it's easy to remember, and it's only six words: "I changed my mind about that".
People who change their minds are the most brilliant of all people. People who change their minds are gathering more information all the time. These people are listening to the opinions of others and seeing how they might fit with or challenge their own. They are constantly reading books, magazines, and articles about topics that interest them. These people are happy and proud to admit that their old way of thinking has changed - it means they're growing. It means they were smart, but then they became smarter.
It is silly people who never change their mind. These people will argue something to the death and not take a single thing away from the other side to reflect on.
Thinking is something anyone can do, RE-THINKING is the true challenge.
For example, when I was ten years old, I thought that 'The New Kids on the Block' were going to be the next Beatles. I changed my mind about that.
When I was fourteen, I thought that we should just print off endless amounts of money so that no one would be poor. I thought that people living with AIDS should be sequestered so that no one else would catch it. I thought that we learned history so that we would make the same mistakes. I believed in the death penalty. I changed my mind about all of those things.
When I was sixteen, I thought that loyalty was the most important quality a person could have. I changed my mind about that.
When I was twenty-one, I thought that parents were just too over-protective and worried way too much about their kids. I changed my mind about that too.
I also thought a lot of things were going to be really easy in life and instead they turned out to be pretty hard.
In life, don't ever let your mind become stagnant. Don't be embarrassed of the things you used to think, and don't ever be afraid to admit you were wrong. Whatever you think today, you might think differently tomorrow - and that's they beauty of being a person.
Love Mom
Dear Claire,
When it comes to fashion, there are very few things that will stand the test of time. A little black dress, fitted white t-shirts, and a khaki trench coat are about the only things you can bank on being in style every single year.
If you want to look gorgeous every season, regardless of the trends, ensure that your wardrobe has a few key pieces in navy blue.
Navy blue is the most undervalued colour! Wear a navy suit instead of a black one, you'll appear more chic and stand out next to the thousand women all in black.
The best thing about navy blue is that it is a great colour for accessories. Hair bands, belts, and scarves all look fabulous in navy. Navy blue sandals with white capris...hello Jackie Kennedy on a sailboat! Floor length navy gown with martini in hand...Audrey Hepburn is that you?!
Navy also flatters any hair colour; it will look great whether your hair is brown, blond, or red. Navy will even do wonders for your complexion, black often looks harsh and creams may "wash you out"; navy will brighten your face beautifully.
Casual navy blue may be the best of all! White and blue striped t-shirts for the sailor summer, navy shorts flatter any figure, and what is cuter than a navy cocktail dress with tiny white polka dots?? Nothing.
So join the navy doll, and you'll be a beauty every time.
Love Mom
ps - one exception...navy blue leather is puke-worthy so skip the leather bags and shoes
Dear Claire,
For some odd reason some women can't stand it when another woman is successful. They call her a bitch, say she's controlling, and will say and do anything to knock her off her pedestal. Don't be like this! Be a cheerleader for other women and enjoy their successes as if they are your own. This way, when it is your turn in the spotlight, other women will be praising you.
Fearless Woman #1: Madonna
Hello - if there is a woman who is known by only her first name then she is some to aspire to be like! The thing about Madonna is this - you may not like her music, her videos, her clothes or shows, but this is a woman who demands respect. She always knows what she wants and she goes for it, whether she is nineteen years old or fifty. She pushes boundaries even though it may make some people uncomfortable. She asks questions that some people don't want to answer. She's not afraid to discuss religion, politics, or sex. She is the driver of her dreams and her goals and that is why she's been able to accomplish so much.
Be your own version of Madonna and the sky's the limit kiddo!
Love Mom
Dear Claire,
One day you will get to enjoy the fun and excitement of going out to bars, dancing, meeting new people, and making great memories with your friends. This fun is probably going to involve alcohol. The best choice I ever made when it comes to alcohol was discovering this fantastic drink: Vodlka and Water with two Limes.
Reasons this is the best "drink":
1. Your hydrating yourself with water as you drink! Hello fun and goodbye headaches and hangovers!
2. This drink has almost zero calories so you won't be gaining weight or getting dehydrated from all the sugar in typical "girl" drinks.
3. Your lips won't be stained some unattractive colour from drinking too many 'Blue Lagoons'.
4. You can switch to just plain water with limes and no one will even know you've stopped drinking.
Love Mom
Dear Claire,
At some point you'll probably be in a relationship that you no longer want to be in. Ending a relationship is not an easy thing to do, especially if you still care about the person and don't want to hurt them. Here's a tip to ease this process:
Always "blame" yourself for the relationship ending. For example, "I can no longer be with you because I want to be on my own/need space/want a change".
As soon as you "blame" the other person, you're giving them a chance to say they'll change. Even if you're ending the relationship because the guy's a jerk, boring, cheating, or all of the above, still blame it on yourself. You'll know the real reason for ending the relationship and he won't have the opportunity to try and convince you that he will change.
Nothing is worse than listening to someone desperately explain all the ways they're going to change so that you can stay together. Avoid this conversation at all costs.
Love Mom
Dear Claire,
In life you will learn that there are very few things you can truly call your own. Everything is shared, communicated, and spilled out into the world at record pace. It is during a time like this, that is even more crucial to find something that is yours and yours alone. Reading can be this escape.
Reading, and a deep love for books, will be one of the greatest gifts you can indulge in. Through reading you will learn about far away places, places just around the corner, and places that only an imagination can create. You will learn about people who are like you, people who you want to be, and people you wish to avoid meeting. You will also meet yourself. You will find characters you feel so close to and understand so completely that you will wish they were real so that you could ask them questions, seek advice, and share a part of yourself with them.
Reading will teach you to empathize with others, to feel types of pain that you've never actually experienced, and to want to reach out and help those who need it.
Reading will teach you joy, to be so thrilled for a character and to want that same joy for those around you.
Reading will teach you freedom, it will encourage you to travel, seek adventures, find new people for your life, and to know no limits for what you can accomplish.
Reading will teach you to imagine, to believe that a made-up land is completely real, so real that you can picture yourself there just as clearly as you can picture yourself here.
Growing up and growing older I have loved so many books, here are some of my favourites that I hope you'll read too:
Underground to Canada - Barbara Smucker
Starring Sally J Freeman as Herself - Judy Blume
Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing - Judy Blume
Witches - Roald Dahl
The Diary of Anne Frank - Anne Frank
The Bridges of Madison County - Robert James Waller
A Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
Stranger Music - Leonard Cohen
The World According to Garp - John Irving
Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
Harry Potter - J.K. Rawling (I've only read the first one so we can read the rest together!)
There are SOOOO many more - can't wait to read one with you :)
Love Mom
Dear Claire,
One of the best things I ever did was live on my own. I actually lived on my own for three years in three different cities! During these years I learned a multitude of things about myself. I learned that you can quite happily live alone and never be lonely. I learned that it's wonderful to only have to clean up after yourself. I learned that it's fantastic to have peace and quiet and equally fantastic to have a group of friends over.
Most importantly, I learned that I can do my own grocery shopping, cooking, and cleaning. That I could pay my bills, set up my phone, internet and cable, and move my own furniture around whenever I wanted. I was completely independent and although I made some mistakes along the way, they were my mistakes, and I learned from them.
I learned, above all else, that if for any reason I had to live on my own again - I could, and that is a great feeling.
So at some point live with strangers (who may eventually become your friends), at some point live with friends (who may eventually become strangers), and at some point....live on your own because you will always be you.
Love Mom
