Let Me Count the Ways

Dear Claire,

I think all mothers would agree that having children changes your life in so many ways.  You go from seeing movies, hanging out at Starbucks, and having room in your back seat to spending most evenings at home, having to make plans ahead of time and having the back seat of your car filled with car seats, toys, and random crumbs.

But you, my sweet and lovely girl, have changed me in the most wonderful ways, let me explain.

#1. Before you, I thought work was simply what you did during the day.  I thought it was something you got paid for and that you got days off.  Now I know that having kids is real work.  That you don't get a coffee break, that you're on-call 24/7, and that all the motivation is intrinsic.

#2.  Before you, I used to call my students' parents and talk to them like I really knew their kid!  Crazy!  Now I completely recognize that I know a little speck of their child, I know only how they are in my class and it doesn't reflect their whole child at all.  I am, thanks to you, a much gentler teacher now.

#3.  Before you, I used to feel sorry for kids when they were being bullied; now I feel worse for their mothers.  Now that I have you, I can't imagine you being bullied, or picked on, or made to feel small.  I feel like it would break my heart and my heart breaks for all the moms (and dads) who's kids are made to feel this way.

#4. I used to think in a much more 'black and white' way when it came to parenting.  Things used to be either right or wrong, this way or that.  Now I feel like there are grey areas everywhere, and parenting is just a guessing game.

#5. I used to be hard on people.  I used to be more judgemental.  I used to dislike more people.  Now I just feel more love and see the child in everyone and how they came to be the way they are.  You have made me more accepting.

#6.  I used to think mothers were crazy.  Why are you so worried about where your kid goes to daycare?  You're spending how much on your kids activities?  What do you mean your kid won't sleep in past 7am?  Who cares what you kid will or won't eat?  Turns out, they're not so crazy after all.

Love you Claire...I'm sure you've got a lot more Mommy-Makeovering to do, especially in those teen years!
Love Mom

Wired for Struggle

Dear Claire,

Life is not always easy.  Things, crazy things, hard things, sad things, and really odd things, are going to be thrown at you.  As your mother it is my natural instinct to want to protect you from all of these things.

It's my instinct to want to jump in, rescue you, and save the day!

I will. And I won't.

If you're in immediate danger - I'm there for you kiddo.  If you've fallen way down the rabbit hole - I'm there for you kiddo.  If you ask for help - I'm there for you kiddo.

But...all humans are wired for struggle.  You are meant to fall down, you are meant to have your heart broken, you are meant to get picked last for the team.  You are meant to fail a test, come fourth place, and lose friends along the way.

Your brain wants you to get back up, it will help you find love again, and it will encourage you to try again, and it will lead you to new friendships.

Your brain will stop doing all these amazing and wonderful things for you, if I am always there to do them for you.  Your brain likes practice.  Your brain needs to learn from each of your little struggles so that it is there to help you when the big ones come along.

And the truth is, I can't always be there for you.  That's why you have you.  And you, are the strongest, most capable, most brave, most "cry for a bit and then pick yourself back up" person ever.  I know you're this way because it's genetic.  It's in your DNA.  You were born strong and everything you'll ever need can be found inside of you. 

So I encourage you to embrace the struggles!  Meet them at the front door, welcome them in and learn from them.  This is the best way to live and the only way to learn.  Triumph is not in the easy wins, it lies in the struggle.

Can't wait to watch you overcome,
Love Mom.

Bye Bye Two

Dear Claire,

Today is your very, very, very last day of ever being two years old!  When I told you that this morning you just laughed hysterically and than said "I happy Mommy"!  I think you're happy because you know we're going out for supper tomorrow night with Grammy and Grampy and you will get a few gifts.

So far, two has been your best year yet.  You learned your letters, you took dance lessons, you went ice skating, you went to the zoo and swam at the beach.  You made snow angels, went sledding, and can even print some letters!  You even got a baby brother - what a busy year you had...i'm tired just thinking about it!

Here are my predictions for 'Claire Age 3'

1. You will be an absolute showstopper in your spring dance recital
2. You will stop crying when we shampoo your hair (please)
3. You will learn to print your name (you've already got the 'C' and 'A' and 'I')
4. You will become even more hilarious with your wild jokes and funny facial expressions
5. You will race down the sidewalk on your tricycle
6. You will swim all by yourself
7. You will continue making Daddy have a time-out on the stairs when he is bad...usually once a day.
8. You will cuddle more with Mommy and not just when you're tired or not feeling well (please)
9. You will help Jack learn to walk, blow a kiss, and sit next to him on the swing set
10. You will keep being my very big, very special, very kind, very funny, and very smart most favourite girl.

Gosh - time flies...look how little you used to be!
Happy Almost Birthday!
Love Mom

Be Nice to Jack...He's Your Only Sibling

Dear Claire,

It has been a long time since I've written to you...I don't know where the past month has gone! I guess with Christmas, New Years and planning your Birthday Party I haven't had time to write.  Eeek!

Anyway, on Friday you will turn three years old! Can you believe it?  You have been such a great big sister lately and are really starting to play with Jack more and more.  You always bring him "his" toys to play with and you're getting better and sharing "your" toys with him too.  Lately, you think it's hilarious to let him chase you, but you're way too fast because he can only crawl.  Poor Jack!

Mommy thinks that a sibling is one of the best people in the world.  You are so lucky to have a brother, I always wanted to have a brother when I was little, but having Aunty Andrea was still pretty good.  A sibling will know you better than anyone.  Jack will know your good, bad, and your ugly.  He will know how to push all of your buttons and will definitely do this throughout your childhood, and probably still sometimes when you're both grown up!

You and Jack may not grow up to be best friends.  You may only get together on the holidays or other special events.  You may not see eye-to-eye on many topics. 

You don't have to, he's still your brother. 

You will know his favourite things and all the things he hates.  You will know what he does when he's mad and what his different laughs mean when he's happy.  You will know all the "bad" things he did as a teenager that mommy and daddy don't even know about.  You will know all the things he's great at and you will also know his greatest struggles.

You will share more history, more memories, more experiences, and more DNA with him than almost anyone else you ever spend time with.

So be nice to Jack.  Love him, take care of him, laugh with him, tell on him, keep his secrets for him, and be there for him when he needs you.  And if you do this, something tells me, he'll do the same for you.


Love you Claire Bear!
Mom

One Piece is Not Enough

Dear Claire,

I haven't been able to write all week.  Something awful happened one week ago in the United States and twenty-six innocent people were killed while at school.

Since then I've been thinking about those little children who were taken from their families.  I've been thinking that this is my favourite time of year and I bet it used to be for those families too.  I've been thinking that when it comes to tragedies like this; I have no advice.

I don't know what to tell you.  I don't know whether I'll know what to say when another tragedy like this one happens and you're old enough to ask questions, and to worry, and to wonder the same thing we're all wondering: why?

I don't know if I'll tell you the truth either.  If I'll have the courage to tell you that sometimes, there isn't an answer, and we may never know why.  And even if we did know why, would it make it any easier?  Can we find peace without having the answers we're looking for?

When I started this blog, I would sometimes think, that God forbid, anything ever happened to me, at least you would have this.  You would have this blog, my pictures, my belongings, and most of all you would have Daddy and Grandma and Grandpa who would be able to fill in so many pieces for you, about me.

Since Friday, I've been thinking...what if it was the other way around, and you were taken from me?  I don't have enough of you yet.  Your artwork is not enough yet.  There aren't enough home videos of you.  I don't have all your report cards, your graduation cap or your wedding veil.  We haven't played Barbies yet, you haven't been to a sleepover, and we haven't even argued about you spending too much time on the phone.

The pieces I have of you right now are not enough.  I want more.  I want every single piece to the person you are meant to become.

In my paryers to keep you, and all children safe from these types of senseless violence, I will continue to think about the families of Sandy Hook Elementary School and how they no longer have the same dreams they had seven days ago. I will keep mindful that the pieces they had hoped for have been stolen.  I will pray for them, and wish them peace and that they will hold onto as many pieces as possible of their beautiful children.  

Love Mom

Two and Ten-and-a-Half Months

Dear Claire,

Today I thought I'd write and tell you how absolutly adorable you are!  You are at such a cute age (almost three) and I think I'd better record some of your cute antics so we never forget them.

One day, about four weeks ago, I called you a 'maniac'.  Since then, if I call you a monkey, silly girl, or just about anything else, you correct me and say "no, I'm ma-mi-ac'.

Also, you seemed to have found an imaginary friend named 'Wolf'.  Sometimes he's very tiny and you carry him in your pocket.  Sometimes he lives with you in the backseat of the car.  And sometimes, he gets very big, and runs alongside the outside of the car growling.

Right now you call your little brother 'Jackie' and 'Hubba Hubba'.  Mommy calls Jack 'Chubba Chubba', but you just can't seem to make the "ch" sound, and in this instance - it's pretty funny.

You love to crawl and pretend to be a kitty, you'll come "drink milk" out of Mommy's hand and let me pet your head.

You love to "make" us hot tea and always make sure we blow on it to cool it down before sipping.

You love dancing around the room and have just learned to do sommersaults - I think you've done about one hundred of them in the past week.

You like to show Jack everything you can do; yesterday you were very excited to show him that you did up your coat zipper all by yourself.

Do you really have to grow up?  I have a feeling the day will come when you won't want Mommy to cuddle you in bed, Jack will drive you crazy, and you won't let Daddy throw you up in the air. 

So i'm going to enjoy every moment, because one day you're going to go your own way for a little while, but I'm not worried, because I know that "your way" will lead back to us.

Love you right now and for all the days to come,
Mom

Have a Best Friend (or two or three)

Dear Claire,

Having a best friend is crucial.  Find one immediately.

Okay, maybe that's a bit dramatic, but here's the thing: you are going to need someone to talk to.

There are going to be days (and maybe even months) when you don't want to talk to me or daddy about things that are bothering you, exciting you, or just weighing on your mind. You'll need a bestie to talk with.

There are going to be times when your boyfriend or husband is driving you crazy and you'll really need someone to vent to.  Call your bestie!

There are going to be times when you're own children are slowly pushing you towards the insane asylum.  Call your bestie!

One of mommy's dearest friends in the world is Leanne and she's not feeling well today so let's dedicate this post to her and maybe it will cheer her up!

Here are some great reasons to have a best friend (and some silly things that Mommy and Leanne have experienced)

#1) Someone to plan your life with!  You can throw out all sorts of wild and wonderful ideas about where you want your life to head and this person will support you 99%.  I say 99% because a real bestie will tell you when you've really lost the plot and help you get back on track. (ask Leanne about the condo with the fire-man pole...we may still purchase one for our retirement years)

#2) Someone to have sleepovers with!  Horray for sleepoves!  Sleepovers are the best time to share your secrets, your hopes, and your hangups.  You can laugh, watch cheesy movies, and maybe even gossip for a few minutes. (ask Leanne about our very first sleepover)

#3) Someone to shop with.  Nothing else needs to be said about this one.

#4) Someone to plan your wedding with.  Let's be honest, chances are that your finace isn't going to care about flowers, place cards, or the proper etiquette for hosting a bridal shower.  Insert your best friend who will gladly obsess over each of these details with you. (ask Leanne about all the crazy wedding mishaps...including Mommy throwing up 4 times the morning of Leanne's wedding due to a teeny-tiny Claire in my belly)

#5) Someone to gently tell you the truth.  This person will kindly let you know when they're worried about something you're doing.  They'll be honest with you when you ask them to be, especially about a precarious haircut or boyfriend who you know, deep down, you should probably break up with. (I'm sure Leanne will happily tell you about a few duds I dated before meeting Daddy)

#6) Someone who will never judge you because they love you!  Your best friend may not always agree with everything you do, but she will love you regardless.  She won't judge you, or remind you about past bad decisions, she'll just be there for you.  So make sure you're there for her too!

Love you Claire, Love your best friend, and Love you Leanne!

Mom and Lindsay

Save A Tree, Not A Boyfriend

Dear Claire,

If you end up anything like me, you're going to have a bleeding heart for people.  You're going to want to help others, you're going to stick your neck out for friends, and you're going to do try to lift people up.

This is (I think anyway) a great way to be.  I like helping people, I like seeing people succeed and I feel best about myself when I'm helping others reach their potential. 

So....I followed my passion and found a job that lets me do this five days a week.

If you want to help people, then help people.  Just make sure your boyfriend (and definitetly not your husband) is not the person who needs to be helped. 

Obviously, we're all humans and we've all got baggage.  But be attracted to someone who can carry at least a few of their own suitcases.

Obviously, when your partner is down or going through a difficult time, you've got to be there for them.  But be attracted to someone who actually wants to solve their problems, overcome their issues, and aim to be a better person.

Because, you can't save people.

You can help people, you can guide people, you can provide opportunities for people.  But you can't save people.

And all that helping, guiding, and providing takes a lot of time and a lot of energy.  Your home should be your soft place, your easy place.  Life, marriage, and mothering will be hard enough on it's own without having to save your husband too.  So my advice, find someone who needs a shoulder to lean on once in a while or an ear to listen, not someone who needs you to be their life preserver.

Love you when you've found your match,
Mom

People Are Good

Dear Claire,

Today I was overwhelmed by the kindness of others.

Right now, I'm working with a young girl, who is living in awful conditions.  She has lost over fifteen pounds in the past two months, not because she is dieting, but because she can only afford to eat one meal a day.

Now that I have you, it's just unbearable to see young girls living like this.  I can't help but imagine what I would do, if suddenly, you were forced to live like this.

In speaking with this girl, I learned that she needs some winter clothing and a few things for her house - a pillow and a blanket.  I know that she needs more, but is too proud to ask.

I quickly posted her needs on my 'Facebook' page and within minutes, several people contacted me with everything from clothing, to food and giftcards for this young woman.

So, whenever you're with a group of people, or watching the news, and everything is doom and gloom, remember that is not the whole truth.  The truth is that, time and time again, people are good.

I know that you will know this instinctively.  Because, you, my sweet little girl, will be good too.

Love Mom

Thanks to all those who are helping :)

A Room of One's Own

Dear Claire,

Every woman needs a room of her own.  A place she can go to unwind, to explore something new, to read, to write, to think, and to 'just be'. 

A place where you can listen to your favourite song again and again without interruption.

A place where you can sing into your hairbrush without being watched.

A place where you can sprawl out and daydream.

A place where you can create something beautiful.

Last weekend I made a little place for you....

Love you,
Mom

Empty, Dull Closet

Claire's New "Closet Club House"

P.S. Our house was built in the 1940's so we have a couple of "funny" closets which have slanted ceilings and aren't really that great for storing much.  So...might as well do something fun with them!

Readers - Did you have a special place of your own when you were little? 

P.P.S. - If you liked this post, please hit the 'facebook' button below and share it on your facebook page :) Thanks!

S.E.X. Part 1

Dear Claire,

I don't know why, but writing this to you is sooo scary!  I realize that right now, you're just a little girl, and the "real" sex talks will come later one.  But..I kind of wonder if I'd be more likely to tell you the truth while you're little and it feels so far away.

There's so much to think and talk and wonder about when it comes to sex, so this is definitely going to be a series of tidbits that hopefully, you'll take pieces of when it comes to the decisions that you make.

Okay, Mom, breathe.

So...you know I love hanging out with the girls right?  I'm always off to "ladies nights" and "book clubs" and really my number one hobby is chatting the night away with my girlfriends.

In all of those hours, and hours, and hours logged, dishing all the dirt, sharing all of our stories and secrets, not one woman has ever said this sentance "the best sex I ever had was in high school".

Just sayin'.

Love you even though you're going to grow up one day.
Mom

To my readers - if you liked this "post", scroll down and please share it on your facebook page, Thanks :)

Do Something!

Dear Claire,

One thing people love to do is complain about the state of the world. 

Lord knows why, but people love to sit around, talking about how awful young people these days are (guess what people - your grandparents said the same about you!), how violence is out of control, and everywhere you turn people are out of work, living in poverty, or struggling with addiction.

It's like a constant moan of doomsday.

Well, in your mother's humble opinion, it is okay to complain about the world...but only if you're willing to do something to help make it better!

That's right, if you're upset about poverty, than you need to be volunteering at a shelter or collecting donations for the local food bank.

If you're worried about people dying from curable diseases in third world countries, than find an organization that offers free immunizations and donate money to them right now.

If you think young people are going down the drain than become a "Big Sister" and make a difference.

It's really important to volunteer and there's always a need for more, so I really encourage you to find a cause that you're passionate for and help out in any way you can.

It doesn't matter if you can't donate thousands of dollars, if you can collect ten pairs of mittens and donate them to a local school or homeless shelter, than you've made a difference in the lives of those ten people. 

Love you so much when I see you helping someone else,
Mom

To my lovely readers...what causes are you passionate about?  Do you volunteer or donate to a favourite charity?

What Do You Stand For???

Dear Claire,

There will probably be at least, a few times in your life, when something just doesn't sit right with you.  You will witness something that just feels wrong - in your heart and in your gut.

It will be your decision whether to speak up.  You won't always speak up and that's okay, but sometimes you will.

In order to speak up, you have to know what you stand for.  What do you believe in?  How do you feel people should be treated?  Do some people deserve to be mistreated?  What bothers you?  What keeps you up at night wondering?

What you stand for will change and grow as you do.  Your perspectives and beliefs may widen at times and narrow at others.  This is okay.  This is part of life.

You'll also learn, that in life, there is very little, that is black and white.  Almost everything lies somewhere in between, in the gray area.   

Once you figure out what you stand for, don't focus on shoving it down everybody else's throat.  You have your beliefs, and they have theirs.  Share you feelings, ideas, and opinions and allow others to share their's.  Listen to them.  Really listen.  It is often that there is no wrong, only different areas of right.  So just listen and learn from the people you know and the people you meet.

Some of the things I stand for:

1. People being treated with respect and kindness regardless of how they look.
2. People choosing their religious, or lack thereof, beliefs.
3. People having second, third, and fourth chances in life, but not neccessarily with the same people.
4. Healthy relationships where both people are safe, happy, and thriving.
5. Listening to someone's story to get the full sense of where they have been, where they are now, and where they hope to be going.

What do you stand for?????

Love Mom  

Be Grateful

Dear Claire,

Growing up in a stereo-typical, middle-class family in a small Canadian town means, that it may at times, be difficult to understand and recognize, how truly fortunate you are.

Most of your classmates and friends will have shoes on their feet, clothes on their backs, and a roof over their head.  Many of them will get to play soccer each summer and go skating in the winter.  Some of them will go on family vacations, have cottages, and always have the newest technology.

Chances are, you'll probably want to have and do all of these things, and I hope that you are able to.

There's nothing wrong with having, and doing, and experiencing the best that life has to offer, as long as you are grateful and appreciate all that you have.

Unfortunately, there is no way you'll be able to appreciate what you have, unless you recognize all the things many people in our community, country, and world live without.  You won't really appreciate going on a vacation until you learn that many people never get a few hundred kilometers past the town they were born in.  You won't appreciate your new 'back-to-school' clothes, until you know of a family who is struggling just to buy new shoes.

One day, if you work hard in school and are able to save extra money, you may be able to travel and see first-hand what real poverty looks like; then you will really appreciate all that you have.

Until then you can get a glimpse of poverty, war, imprisonment, and all the other struggles I hope you never personally experience, through good literature, through reading the newspaper, and through watching the news.  Hopefully this will help you empathize with people whether you know them or not.  Hopefully this will help you appreciate all the gifts you were given due only to your place of birth.  And above all, hopefully this will encourage you to help others in whatever way you are able.

Here are some great books I read growing up which truly altered the way I saw other people and the struggles that were forced upon them:

Here are some that I read as I got older...

Love you when you know how lucky you are!
Mom

My Prayer for You

Dear Claire,

One of my prayers for you, is that at some point, preferably between the ages of nine and fifteen, you become enthralled with a boy band.

There is no greater feeling (maybe I'm slightly exaggerating) then being "in love" with a boy band.  Here's why:

#1. There are usually a few boys in the group and you get to pick which one you like the best.  You'll probably have a lot of things in common with him like eating ice cream and swimming at the beach.

#2.  Whenever your bored or can't fall asleep, you can plan out exactly what you will say to him if you meet.  This conversation will always go wonderfully and will end with him asking you out on a date.

#3.  Until you meet him in real life you can simply talk to the doll version of him.

#4.  A boy band is the perfect (and possibly only) excuse to by copious amounts of Bop and Tiger Beat magazines.  I, as your mother, will happily indulge in this with you and will let you put up posters all over your room (using sticky tack).

#5. You can learn all the words to all their songs; once you've accomplished this you'er an official fan.

#6. You can learn all their dance moves and then perform them for your Dad, Jack, and I.  We will love it!

#7. Not only can you go to their concert when they're at their height; you can check them out again twenty years later at their reunion tour!

Boy Bands.  Amen.

Love you!



No Means No

Dear Claire,

If you've already read the post explaining that 'yes means yes', then you've probably guessed that 'no means no'.

Equally important as doing what you say you're going to do, is not doing what you say you won't.

If somebody asks you to do something, and you don't want to do it - say no. 

However, don't say no, and then an hour later "change your mind".  If you do this, than people will never believe you when you say "no".  They will continue to pressure and persuade you, believing that you will eventually change your mind. 

More than anything, you want people to believe you when you say "no".

If you don't know whether you want to do something or not, just say "I don't know, let me think about it for awhile".  The best thing about this phrase is the word "awhile", this could mean thinking about it for an hour, a day, or a year!  You've given yourself all the time you need to make a decision without committing to anything. 

If you use the world "no" a few times with people, and you stand by that answer, than soon enough, as soon as they hear you say "no", they will believe you.  Then you can live your life how you want to, not how others would like you to.

Love you, even when you say "no" to me (which at this point is about forty times a day).

"NO! I will not open my eyes for this picture!"



"No, this is really not my problem."



"No....I won't have these chubby cheeks forever so you better pinch them now!"



"No.  I will wear whatever I want before 8am."

"No, I swear there's nothing in my mouth."



"I don't even have to say "no" and I'll still get my message across."

Peer Pressure....It's All in Your Head

Dear Claire,

Movies, public television commercials, and sitcoms would all have you believe that one day, you're going to be standing next to a brick wall and someone is going to offer you a cigarette.  The person offering it to you is going to have three or four friends behind them and they are all going to be staring you down, waiting in anticipation for you to give your answer...will you or will you not try the smoke???? 

Don't worry, this isn't how it happens in real life.  You're never going to be suddenly surronded by people on the playground forcing you to try smoking, drinking or drugs.

However, one day you will be at a party or hanging around the school and someone will very casually offer you a smoke/drink.  It will probably be someone you know, most likely it will be one of your friends. 

Let me, let you in, on a big secret: they really don't care whether you smoke or drink. 

They're just being polite and offering you some.  They would probably prefer that you didn't because then they don't have to share.

So be equally polite, if you don't want it, then just say "no thanks, not my thing right now, but you enjoy it". 

It's the perfect answer.  And trust me, they're not going to argue with you.  They're not going to surround you and push cigarettes or beer bottles in your face. 

And don't ever worry that someone might not be your friend anymore if you don't do what they're doing.  I've never lost a friend over that, and come to think of it, I don't know anyone who has.

As long as you're confident in yourself, peer pressure doesn't exist.  It's just something that people who make decisions based on their own fear of losing friends created.

Love Mom


Readers - what are your thoughts???

Here are some of my favourite fake-shots of peer pressure...and my own ideas of what they're saying.

"You better drink this or you're out of the preppy gang!"

"C'mon Julie, I know we're only 10 years old but, we stole this from our Grandpa, and you better smoke it"

"Look guys, I already told you, knee-socks are my thing.  I won't stop wearing them no matter what you do to me!"

"Join our cult immediately...or else."

The Catch-22 of Self-Esteem

Dear Claire,

Just when you thought being a young woman couldn't get any more complicated...

Mothers, fathers, teachers, youth workers, and Dove commercials have all it made their goal to increase your self-esteem.  That's right, we want you to belive you're smart, fun, driven, and of course, beautiful.  We want you to avoid eating disorders, feeling too fat, feeling too skinny, feeling like you have bad skin, feeling like you have bad hair, the list goes on and on and on.

There's a catch though...because you're a girl, you can't actually tell anybody that you feel good about your appearance.  God forbid you like your face, hair and thighs and actually say that out loud - you'll be immediately delegated as the girl who "thinks she's better than everybody else".  Other girls will come sprinting out of the woodwork to inform you why you're not so perfect after all.  Phrases like "who does she think she is?" and "she's not that pretty" will be thrown around behind your back for days to follow.

So my darling, you might ask - what's a girl to do?

1. Know that everyone, in their own way is beautiful and that on the day each one of us was born, someone held us and wept thinking we were the most wonderful person that ever lived.

2. Give compliments.  Everyone loves getting a compliment regardless of whether it's about a new pair of shoes, a great grade at school, or scoring a goal.  Find something about everyone that can be appreciated, and share that appreciation for others out loud.

3. Accept compliments properly.  In other words, say "thank you, that is so kind of you".  Don't every reject a compliment - that's just bad karma!

4. Remember that confidence (not cockiness) makes people more enjoyable to be around, so don't ever deny you believe in yourself and don't ever pretend to be less than you are.

5. Lastly, if another girl ever asks "Claire, do you think your pretty?", just say "yes, and I think you are too".  It's hard to hate someone who just complimented you.

Love you because you know you're one of a kind!

Mom

BFF's

Dear Claire,


One of the most important things you'll ever do is choose your friends.  You can choose friends who will make your life more stressful.  These are the friends who will create drama on a daily basis, who will talk about you behind your back, and who you'll never truly be able to rely on or trust.  Or you can choose the other type of friends, those who will actually make your life much easier and enjoyable. 

Now don't worry if you lose some friends along the way.  Some people aren't meant to travel life's whole journey with you.  Just like your hopes and dreams, your friends will change too.  Some friends will fit into all the seasons of your life, and others just belong in the beginning, the middle, or the end.  The important thing is, that you have friends for each part.  Someone to share your peaks and valleys with.  And if a friend isn't there for you in the valley, then as disappointing as it is, you know in your heart that they aren't meant to be your friend any longer.

How to Recognize a True Friend:

1. A friend will not leave you at a party, bar, or store without letting you know first.

2. If you are too intoxicated, a friend will not leave you at a party or bar no matter what.

3. Regardless of how their life is at the moment, a friend will be happy for you when things are going well in yours.  Feeling joy and not jealousy is the mark of a true friend!

4. A friend won't date your ex-boyfriend because deep down, you may still like him just a little bit, and she values your friendship way more.

5. A friend will let you copy their homework 10 minutes before class.

6. A friend will love you despite your faults, quirks, and bad habits. 

7. A friend will understand that once you have a boyfriend you're going to spend less time with her. Even though it's a really crappy feeling, she'll still be there for you and won't hold it against you. 

8. A friend will stick up for you whether you're there to hear it or not.

9. A friend won't tell you the truth if it's going to hurt you, unless you really need to hear it.

10. A friend will listen to you talk/cry/complain for hours about your ex-boyfriend and still be there for you if you get back together with him (even though she knows you're going to break-up again).

11. A friend knows that you're going to grow, and that means changing.  A true friend will love you even more as you change and will enjoy getting to know the new you each time.

12...to all my readers...add your "true friend definition" for Claire in the comment section! You can use your account or just post under 'anonymous' if you want :)

Love you and love your friends!