Dear Claire,
I think all mothers would agree that having children changes your life in so many ways. You go from seeing movies, hanging out at Starbucks, and having room in your back seat to spending most evenings at home, having to make plans ahead of time and having the back seat of your car filled with car seats, toys, and random crumbs.
But you, my sweet and lovely girl, have changed me in the most wonderful ways, let me explain.
#1. Before you, I thought work was simply what you did during the day. I thought it was something you got paid for and that you got days off. Now I know that having kids is real work. That you don't get a coffee break, that you're on-call 24/7, and that all the motivation is intrinsic.
#2. Before you, I used to call my students' parents and talk to them like I really knew their kid! Crazy! Now I completely recognize that I know a little speck of their child, I know only how they are in my class and it doesn't reflect their whole child at all. I am, thanks to you, a much gentler teacher now.
#3. Before you, I used to feel sorry for kids when they were being bullied; now I feel worse for their mothers. Now that I have you, I can't imagine you being bullied, or picked on, or made to feel small. I feel like it would break my heart and my heart breaks for all the moms (and dads) who's kids are made to feel this way.
#4. I used to think in a much more 'black and white' way when it came to parenting. Things used to be either right or wrong, this way or that. Now I feel like there are grey areas everywhere, and parenting is just a guessing game.
#5. I used to be hard on people. I used to be more judgemental. I used to dislike more people. Now I just feel more love and see the child in everyone and how they came to be the way they are. You have made me more accepting.
#6. I used to think mothers were crazy. Why are you so worried about where your kid goes to daycare? You're spending how much on your kids activities? What do you mean your kid won't sleep in past 7am? Who cares what you kid will or won't eat? Turns out, they're not so crazy after all.
Love you Claire...I'm sure you've got a lot more Mommy-Makeovering to do, especially in those teen years!
Love Mom
Showing posts with label Knowledge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Knowledge. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Have a Best Friend (or two or three)
Dear Claire,
Having a best friend is crucial. Find one immediately.
Okay, maybe that's a bit dramatic, but here's the thing: you are going to need someone to talk to.
There are going to be days (and maybe even months) when you don't want to talk to me or daddy about things that are bothering you, exciting you, or just weighing on your mind. You'll need a bestie to talk with.
There are going to be times when your boyfriend or husband is driving you crazy and you'll really need someone to vent to. Call your bestie!
There are going to be times when you're own children are slowly pushing you towards the insane asylum. Call your bestie!
One of mommy's dearest friends in the world is Leanne and she's not feeling well today so let's dedicate this post to her and maybe it will cheer her up!
Here are some great reasons to have a best friend (and some silly things that Mommy and Leanne have experienced)
#1) Someone to plan your life with! You can throw out all sorts of wild and wonderful ideas about where you want your life to head and this person will support you 99%. I say 99% because a real bestie will tell you when you've really lost the plot and help you get back on track. (ask Leanne about the condo with the fire-man pole...we may still purchase one for our retirement years)
#2) Someone to have sleepovers with! Horray for sleepoves! Sleepovers are the best time to share your secrets, your hopes, and your hangups. You can laugh, watch cheesy movies, and maybe even gossip for a few minutes. (ask Leanne about our very first sleepover)
#3) Someone to shop with. Nothing else needs to be said about this one.
#4) Someone to plan your wedding with. Let's be honest, chances are that your finace isn't going to care about flowers, place cards, or the proper etiquette for hosting a bridal shower. Insert your best friend who will gladly obsess over each of these details with you. (ask Leanne about all the crazy wedding mishaps...including Mommy throwing up 4 times the morning of Leanne's wedding due to a teeny-tiny Claire in my belly)
#5) Someone to gently tell you the truth. This person will kindly let you know when they're worried about something you're doing. They'll be honest with you when you ask them to be, especially about a precarious haircut or boyfriend who you know, deep down, you should probably break up with. (I'm sure Leanne will happily tell you about a few duds I dated before meeting Daddy)
#6) Someone who will never judge you because they love you! Your best friend may not always agree with everything you do, but she will love you regardless. She won't judge you, or remind you about past bad decisions, she'll just be there for you. So make sure you're there for her too!
Love you Claire, Love your best friend, and Love you Leanne!
Mom and Lindsay
Having a best friend is crucial. Find one immediately.
Okay, maybe that's a bit dramatic, but here's the thing: you are going to need someone to talk to.
There are going to be days (and maybe even months) when you don't want to talk to me or daddy about things that are bothering you, exciting you, or just weighing on your mind. You'll need a bestie to talk with.
There are going to be times when your boyfriend or husband is driving you crazy and you'll really need someone to vent to. Call your bestie!
There are going to be times when you're own children are slowly pushing you towards the insane asylum. Call your bestie!
One of mommy's dearest friends in the world is Leanne and she's not feeling well today so let's dedicate this post to her and maybe it will cheer her up!
Here are some great reasons to have a best friend (and some silly things that Mommy and Leanne have experienced)
#1) Someone to plan your life with! You can throw out all sorts of wild and wonderful ideas about where you want your life to head and this person will support you 99%. I say 99% because a real bestie will tell you when you've really lost the plot and help you get back on track. (ask Leanne about the condo with the fire-man pole...we may still purchase one for our retirement years)
#2) Someone to have sleepovers with! Horray for sleepoves! Sleepovers are the best time to share your secrets, your hopes, and your hangups. You can laugh, watch cheesy movies, and maybe even gossip for a few minutes. (ask Leanne about our very first sleepover)
#3) Someone to shop with. Nothing else needs to be said about this one.
#4) Someone to plan your wedding with. Let's be honest, chances are that your finace isn't going to care about flowers, place cards, or the proper etiquette for hosting a bridal shower. Insert your best friend who will gladly obsess over each of these details with you. (ask Leanne about all the crazy wedding mishaps...including Mommy throwing up 4 times the morning of Leanne's wedding due to a teeny-tiny Claire in my belly)
#5) Someone to gently tell you the truth. This person will kindly let you know when they're worried about something you're doing. They'll be honest with you when you ask them to be, especially about a precarious haircut or boyfriend who you know, deep down, you should probably break up with. (I'm sure Leanne will happily tell you about a few duds I dated before meeting Daddy)
#6) Someone who will never judge you because they love you! Your best friend may not always agree with everything you do, but she will love you regardless. She won't judge you, or remind you about past bad decisions, she'll just be there for you. So make sure you're there for her too!
Love you Claire, Love your best friend, and Love you Leanne!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Save A Tree, Not A Boyfriend
Dear Claire,
If you end up anything like me, you're going to have a bleeding heart for people. You're going to want to help others, you're going to stick your neck out for friends, and you're going to do try to lift people up.
This is (I think anyway) a great way to be. I like helping people, I like seeing people succeed and I feel best about myself when I'm helping others reach their potential.
So....I followed my passion and found a job that lets me do this five days a week.
If you want to help people, then help people. Just make sure your boyfriend (and definitetly not your husband) is not the person who needs to be helped.
Obviously, we're all humans and we've all got baggage. But be attracted to someone who can carry at least a few of their own suitcases.
Obviously, when your partner is down or going through a difficult time, you've got to be there for them. But be attracted to someone who actually wants to solve their problems, overcome their issues, and aim to be a better person.
Because, you can't save people.
You can help people, you can guide people, you can provide opportunities for people. But you can't save people.
And all that helping, guiding, and providing takes a lot of time and a lot of energy. Your home should be your soft place, your easy place. Life, marriage, and mothering will be hard enough on it's own without having to save your husband too. So my advice, find someone who needs a shoulder to lean on once in a while or an ear to listen, not someone who needs you to be their life preserver.
Love you when you've found your match,
Mom
If you end up anything like me, you're going to have a bleeding heart for people. You're going to want to help others, you're going to stick your neck out for friends, and you're going to do try to lift people up.
This is (I think anyway) a great way to be. I like helping people, I like seeing people succeed and I feel best about myself when I'm helping others reach their potential.
So....I followed my passion and found a job that lets me do this five days a week.
If you want to help people, then help people. Just make sure your boyfriend (and definitetly not your husband) is not the person who needs to be helped.
Obviously, we're all humans and we've all got baggage. But be attracted to someone who can carry at least a few of their own suitcases.
Obviously, when your partner is down or going through a difficult time, you've got to be there for them. But be attracted to someone who actually wants to solve their problems, overcome their issues, and aim to be a better person.
Because, you can't save people.
You can help people, you can guide people, you can provide opportunities for people. But you can't save people.
And all that helping, guiding, and providing takes a lot of time and a lot of energy. Your home should be your soft place, your easy place. Life, marriage, and mothering will be hard enough on it's own without having to save your husband too. So my advice, find someone who needs a shoulder to lean on once in a while or an ear to listen, not someone who needs you to be their life preserver.
Love you when you've found your match,
Mom
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Love At First Sight *sigh*
Dear Claire,
Since I'm your mother, you probably know by now that I'm not really a "romantic" person. I find some of it so over-the-top that it makes me cringe and feel icky. It's just not me.
But I do belive, one hundred percent, in love at first sight.
All sorts of people will say "there's no such thing", but they are wrong.
On January 25, 2010, a tiny, naked, precious, baby girl was put onto my chest. I looked down at her and a flood of one emotion came over me - love.
I didn't know you. I had never seen you before. And yet I loved you immediately, I loved you in that moment and in all of the moments since.
Even when I'm tired and impatient. Even when you've said "Mommy" eighty-three times before nine a.m. Even when you put your whole hand in your cup of milk causing it to overflow onto the table and then onto the floor.
I still love you. You are my favourite little girl in the whole world.
And if someone ever tells you "there's no such thing as love at first sight"; just let your heart smile, because you know there is.
Love you forever,
Mom
Since I'm your mother, you probably know by now that I'm not really a "romantic" person. I find some of it so over-the-top that it makes me cringe and feel icky. It's just not me.
But I do belive, one hundred percent, in love at first sight.
All sorts of people will say "there's no such thing", but they are wrong.
On January 25, 2010, a tiny, naked, precious, baby girl was put onto my chest. I looked down at her and a flood of one emotion came over me - love.
I didn't know you. I had never seen you before. And yet I loved you immediately, I loved you in that moment and in all of the moments since.
Even when I'm tired and impatient. Even when you've said "Mommy" eighty-three times before nine a.m. Even when you put your whole hand in your cup of milk causing it to overflow onto the table and then onto the floor.
I still love you. You are my favourite little girl in the whole world.
And if someone ever tells you "there's no such thing as love at first sight"; just let your heart smile, because you know there is.
Love you forever,
Mom
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Do Something!
Dear Claire,
One thing people love to do is complain about the state of the world.
Lord knows why, but people love to sit around, talking about how awful young people these days are (guess what people - your grandparents said the same about you!), how violence is out of control, and everywhere you turn people are out of work, living in poverty, or struggling with addiction.
It's like a constant moan of doomsday.
Well, in your mother's humble opinion, it is okay to complain about the world...but only if you're willing to do something to help make it better!
That's right, if you're upset about poverty, than you need to be volunteering at a shelter or collecting donations for the local food bank.
If you're worried about people dying from curable diseases in third world countries, than find an organization that offers free immunizations and donate money to them right now.
If you think young people are going down the drain than become a "Big Sister" and make a difference.
It's really important to volunteer and there's always a need for more, so I really encourage you to find a cause that you're passionate for and help out in any way you can.
It doesn't matter if you can't donate thousands of dollars, if you can collect ten pairs of mittens and donate them to a local school or homeless shelter, than you've made a difference in the lives of those ten people.
Love you so much when I see you helping someone else,
Mom
To my lovely readers...what causes are you passionate about? Do you volunteer or donate to a favourite charity?
One thing people love to do is complain about the state of the world.
Lord knows why, but people love to sit around, talking about how awful young people these days are (guess what people - your grandparents said the same about you!), how violence is out of control, and everywhere you turn people are out of work, living in poverty, or struggling with addiction.
It's like a constant moan of doomsday.
Well, in your mother's humble opinion, it is okay to complain about the world...but only if you're willing to do something to help make it better!
That's right, if you're upset about poverty, than you need to be volunteering at a shelter or collecting donations for the local food bank.
If you're worried about people dying from curable diseases in third world countries, than find an organization that offers free immunizations and donate money to them right now.
If you think young people are going down the drain than become a "Big Sister" and make a difference.
It's really important to volunteer and there's always a need for more, so I really encourage you to find a cause that you're passionate for and help out in any way you can.
It doesn't matter if you can't donate thousands of dollars, if you can collect ten pairs of mittens and donate them to a local school or homeless shelter, than you've made a difference in the lives of those ten people.
Love you so much when I see you helping someone else,
Mom
To my lovely readers...what causes are you passionate about? Do you volunteer or donate to a favourite charity?
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Bite Your Tongue - And Hard Too!
Dear Claire,
Because you have a pulse this is going to happen to you at some point...listen carefully.
One day, a boy is going to break-up with one of your good friends.
Some boy, who is kinda useless, often annoying, and definitely not reliable is going to end a relationship with your amazing, wonderful friend.
You are going to want to shout "horray" from the rooftops! Don't. When your friend tells you what has happened, do not say that you never really liked the boy, that she could do a lot better, and do not list all his terrible qualities.
You will be sooo tempted to do this, but trust me, it's a bad idea.
Why?
Because there's about a 75% chance that they're going to get back together and if they do, your friend is going to know how you really feel about the guy. Talk about putting strain on a friendship.
Honesty is not always the best policy, especially during a break-up.
So, what should you say to your upset friend?
Just tell her that you love her, that you understand, and that you're here to listen. Eat ice cream with her, go shopping, listen to her complain about the guy, just be there for her. Don't worry about him; worry about supporting your friend.
But seriously, don't bash him, because they'll probably be kissing in the school hallway again by the end of the week.
Love you when you're there for a friend,
Mom
Because you have a pulse this is going to happen to you at some point...listen carefully.
One day, a boy is going to break-up with one of your good friends.
Some boy, who is kinda useless, often annoying, and definitely not reliable is going to end a relationship with your amazing, wonderful friend.
You are going to want to shout "horray" from the rooftops! Don't. When your friend tells you what has happened, do not say that you never really liked the boy, that she could do a lot better, and do not list all his terrible qualities.
You will be sooo tempted to do this, but trust me, it's a bad idea.
Why?
Because there's about a 75% chance that they're going to get back together and if they do, your friend is going to know how you really feel about the guy. Talk about putting strain on a friendship.
Honesty is not always the best policy, especially during a break-up.
So, what should you say to your upset friend?
Just tell her that you love her, that you understand, and that you're here to listen. Eat ice cream with her, go shopping, listen to her complain about the guy, just be there for her. Don't worry about him; worry about supporting your friend.
But seriously, don't bash him, because they'll probably be kissing in the school hallway again by the end of the week.
Love you when you're there for a friend,
Mom
Poor Sienna....Jude slept with the Nanny and they still got back together?!?
Everyone is glad these two got back together...I mean who else can you picture Pink with?
This is youth-in-so-called-love-train-wreck at it's best. It won't last, but I'm not going to be the one to tell Robbie.
Claire - hopefully you have zero idea of who these people are. If so, the world has been re-stored to it's rightful order. (But it was really fun while it lasted!)
Even my favourite couple once broke up! But we all know that was Kate showing him that he needed to hurry up and make her a princess.
The 2012 Olympic Closing Ceremonies proved that, yes, anyone, can get back together. (Especially for the right amount of money)
Monday, October 1, 2012
Don't Date a Doormat
Dear Claire,
At some point in your life, you may get the idea in your head that the perfect boyfriend is one that will do anything and everything for you.
He will buy you exactly what you want.
He will always let you pick the movie to see and the restaurant to eat at.
He will say, exactly what you want to hear, whenever you're upset.
In theory this sounds wonderful; in practice, it's a disaster.
You can't be in a successful relationship with someone who gives into your every whim.
You will not grow as a couple if you get to win every arguement and things always end in your favor. And, after some time, you will lose respect for this boyfriend because he has discouraged you from maturing and becomming half of a true partnership.
What you need is someone who will challenge you to become a better person. Someone who will stand up to your faults and support you in improving them. Someone who insists that he gets to pick the movie and the restaurant sometimes.
In other words...you need to date someone who has a backbone that is equally strong as your own.
Love you when you're with your equal,
Mom
At some point in your life, you may get the idea in your head that the perfect boyfriend is one that will do anything and everything for you.
He will buy you exactly what you want.
He will always let you pick the movie to see and the restaurant to eat at.
He will say, exactly what you want to hear, whenever you're upset.
In theory this sounds wonderful; in practice, it's a disaster.
You can't be in a successful relationship with someone who gives into your every whim.
You will not grow as a couple if you get to win every arguement and things always end in your favor. And, after some time, you will lose respect for this boyfriend because he has discouraged you from maturing and becomming half of a true partnership.
What you need is someone who will challenge you to become a better person. Someone who will stand up to your faults and support you in improving them. Someone who insists that he gets to pick the movie and the restaurant sometimes.
In other words...you need to date someone who has a backbone that is equally strong as your own.
Love you when you're with your equal,
Mom
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
What Do You Stand For???
Dear Claire,
There will probably be at least, a few times in your life, when something just doesn't sit right with you. You will witness something that just feels wrong - in your heart and in your gut.
It will be your decision whether to speak up. You won't always speak up and that's okay, but sometimes you will.
In order to speak up, you have to know what you stand for. What do you believe in? How do you feel people should be treated? Do some people deserve to be mistreated? What bothers you? What keeps you up at night wondering?
What you stand for will change and grow as you do. Your perspectives and beliefs may widen at times and narrow at others. This is okay. This is part of life.
You'll also learn, that in life, there is very little, that is black and white. Almost everything lies somewhere in between, in the gray area.
Once you figure out what you stand for, don't focus on shoving it down everybody else's throat. You have your beliefs, and they have theirs. Share you feelings, ideas, and opinions and allow others to share their's. Listen to them. Really listen. It is often that there is no wrong, only different areas of right. So just listen and learn from the people you know and the people you meet.
Some of the things I stand for:
1. People being treated with respect and kindness regardless of how they look.
2. People choosing their religious, or lack thereof, beliefs.
3. People having second, third, and fourth chances in life, but not neccessarily with the same people.
4. Healthy relationships where both people are safe, happy, and thriving.
5. Listening to someone's story to get the full sense of where they have been, where they are now, and where they hope to be going.
What do you stand for?????
Love Mom
There will probably be at least, a few times in your life, when something just doesn't sit right with you. You will witness something that just feels wrong - in your heart and in your gut.
It will be your decision whether to speak up. You won't always speak up and that's okay, but sometimes you will.
In order to speak up, you have to know what you stand for. What do you believe in? How do you feel people should be treated? Do some people deserve to be mistreated? What bothers you? What keeps you up at night wondering?
What you stand for will change and grow as you do. Your perspectives and beliefs may widen at times and narrow at others. This is okay. This is part of life.
You'll also learn, that in life, there is very little, that is black and white. Almost everything lies somewhere in between, in the gray area.
Once you figure out what you stand for, don't focus on shoving it down everybody else's throat. You have your beliefs, and they have theirs. Share you feelings, ideas, and opinions and allow others to share their's. Listen to them. Really listen. It is often that there is no wrong, only different areas of right. So just listen and learn from the people you know and the people you meet.
Some of the things I stand for:
1. People being treated with respect and kindness regardless of how they look.
2. People choosing their religious, or lack thereof, beliefs.
3. People having second, third, and fourth chances in life, but not neccessarily with the same people.
4. Healthy relationships where both people are safe, happy, and thriving.
5. Listening to someone's story to get the full sense of where they have been, where they are now, and where they hope to be going.
What do you stand for?????
Love Mom
Monday, September 17, 2012
Be Grateful
Dear Claire,
Growing up in a stereo-typical, middle-class family in a small Canadian town means, that it may at times, be difficult to understand and recognize, how truly fortunate you are.
Most of your classmates and friends will have shoes on their feet, clothes on their backs, and a roof over their head. Many of them will get to play soccer each summer and go skating in the winter. Some of them will go on family vacations, have cottages, and always have the newest technology.
Chances are, you'll probably want to have and do all of these things, and I hope that you are able to.
There's nothing wrong with having, and doing, and experiencing the best that life has to offer, as long as you are grateful and appreciate all that you have.
Unfortunately, there is no way you'll be able to appreciate what you have, unless you recognize all the things many people in our community, country, and world live without. You won't really appreciate going on a vacation until you learn that many people never get a few hundred kilometers past the town they were born in. You won't appreciate your new 'back-to-school' clothes, until you know of a family who is struggling just to buy new shoes.
One day, if you work hard in school and are able to save extra money, you may be able to travel and see first-hand what real poverty looks like; then you will really appreciate all that you have.
Until then you can get a glimpse of poverty, war, imprisonment, and all the other struggles I hope you never personally experience, through good literature, through reading the newspaper, and through watching the news. Hopefully this will help you empathize with people whether you know them or not. Hopefully this will help you appreciate all the gifts you were given due only to your place of birth. And above all, hopefully this will encourage you to help others in whatever way you are able.
Here are some great books I read growing up which truly altered the way I saw other people and the struggles that were forced upon them:
Here are some that I read as I got older...
Love you when you know how lucky you are!
Mom
Growing up in a stereo-typical, middle-class family in a small Canadian town means, that it may at times, be difficult to understand and recognize, how truly fortunate you are.
Most of your classmates and friends will have shoes on their feet, clothes on their backs, and a roof over their head. Many of them will get to play soccer each summer and go skating in the winter. Some of them will go on family vacations, have cottages, and always have the newest technology.
Chances are, you'll probably want to have and do all of these things, and I hope that you are able to.
There's nothing wrong with having, and doing, and experiencing the best that life has to offer, as long as you are grateful and appreciate all that you have.
Unfortunately, there is no way you'll be able to appreciate what you have, unless you recognize all the things many people in our community, country, and world live without. You won't really appreciate going on a vacation until you learn that many people never get a few hundred kilometers past the town they were born in. You won't appreciate your new 'back-to-school' clothes, until you know of a family who is struggling just to buy new shoes.
One day, if you work hard in school and are able to save extra money, you may be able to travel and see first-hand what real poverty looks like; then you will really appreciate all that you have.
Until then you can get a glimpse of poverty, war, imprisonment, and all the other struggles I hope you never personally experience, through good literature, through reading the newspaper, and through watching the news. Hopefully this will help you empathize with people whether you know them or not. Hopefully this will help you appreciate all the gifts you were given due only to your place of birth. And above all, hopefully this will encourage you to help others in whatever way you are able.
Here are some great books I read growing up which truly altered the way I saw other people and the struggles that were forced upon them:
Here are some that I read as I got older...
Mom
Monday, September 10, 2012
It's Their Problem, Not Yours
Dear Claire,
One day, if you become a mother, be prepared to receive an avalanche of "questions", "concerns" and "advice" from friends, family, acquaintaneces and of course, complete strangers.
People are going to want to know what type of labor you're planning (natural or medicated?!), if you're going to breast or bottle feed, what school you're going to send your children to, what solids you plan on feeding them, what clubs you'll sign them up for, and on and on and on.
You'll be able to tell if people ask you these questions because they truly care about you and your children, because they'll be a huge fan and one-hundred percent supportive of whatever your answers are.
If they question and critique your choices and/or decisions, chances are they're just trying to make themselves feel better about the decisions they've made. It's not your problem.
Here's the thing...parenting is mostly a guessing game and usually done through trial and error. Sure there's some decisions made based on your values, but most of the time you're just making decisions based on what feels best for you and your family.
You don't ever have to explain or justify your parenting decisions to anyone. As long as you feel right about what you're doing, than you've done a fantastic job.
So my advice to you is to take the critics with a grain of salt, and just be grateful that you're happy and confident in whatever way you've chosen to raise your beautiful children.
Love you and your choices!
Mom
One day, if you become a mother, be prepared to receive an avalanche of "questions", "concerns" and "advice" from friends, family, acquaintaneces and of course, complete strangers.
People are going to want to know what type of labor you're planning (natural or medicated?!), if you're going to breast or bottle feed, what school you're going to send your children to, what solids you plan on feeding them, what clubs you'll sign them up for, and on and on and on.
You'll be able to tell if people ask you these questions because they truly care about you and your children, because they'll be a huge fan and one-hundred percent supportive of whatever your answers are.
If they question and critique your choices and/or decisions, chances are they're just trying to make themselves feel better about the decisions they've made. It's not your problem.
Here's the thing...parenting is mostly a guessing game and usually done through trial and error. Sure there's some decisions made based on your values, but most of the time you're just making decisions based on what feels best for you and your family.
You don't ever have to explain or justify your parenting decisions to anyone. As long as you feel right about what you're doing, than you've done a fantastic job.
So my advice to you is to take the critics with a grain of salt, and just be grateful that you're happy and confident in whatever way you've chosen to raise your beautiful children.
Love you and your choices!
Mom
Monday, August 27, 2012
Don't Lose Sleep Over It
Dear Claire,
Sometimes in life there are going to be bad days.
I can't tell you how many times I've laid awake in bed thinking about something, somebody said, that bothered me. Or how many times I've found myself awake at one in the morning regretting something I had said that day. Or at three a.m. thinking about work, things to do around the house, an upcoming event that needs planning, and the list goes on.
Here's what I've learned from lying awake in bed and thinking: it accomplishes nothing.
I've never actually gotten out of bed and done any work, made any phone calls, or cleaned the house.
So I should've just slept.
Turn your mind off when you go to bed.
Anything from the day can be undone tomorrow.
If you want an apology from someone you have two choices: ask for one or get over it. If you owe someone an apology than give it to them.
Write out a 'to do' list in the morning and cross things off it as you accomplish them; that night you will feel better knowing what you have gotten done.
But above all, sleep. Everything looks better after a good night's rest.
Love you when you're not so tired!
Mom
Sometimes in life there are going to be bad days.
I can't tell you how many times I've laid awake in bed thinking about something, somebody said, that bothered me. Or how many times I've found myself awake at one in the morning regretting something I had said that day. Or at three a.m. thinking about work, things to do around the house, an upcoming event that needs planning, and the list goes on.
Here's what I've learned from lying awake in bed and thinking: it accomplishes nothing.
I've never actually gotten out of bed and done any work, made any phone calls, or cleaned the house.
So I should've just slept.
Turn your mind off when you go to bed.
Anything from the day can be undone tomorrow.
If you want an apology from someone you have two choices: ask for one or get over it. If you owe someone an apology than give it to them.
Write out a 'to do' list in the morning and cross things off it as you accomplish them; that night you will feel better knowing what you have gotten done.
But above all, sleep. Everything looks better after a good night's rest.
Love you when you're not so tired!
Mom
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Don't Wing It
Dear Claire,
Life is going to throw many, many surprises at you. Things you can't control, things you have to react to immediately, and things that nothing can prepare you for. Whenever you encounter these surprises...just follow your heart, your gut, and use your common sense.
For everything else...prepare!
If you want to decrease stress and increase your self-confidence, then prepare for anything and everything that can be prepared for.
Test or exam - prepare.
Job interview or audition - prepare.
Going for groceries or buying a car - prepare.
I can't tell you the number of errors, mishaps, and stumbles I have witnessed only because the person simply didn't practice or prepare beforehand.
You are your own best teacher, you will learn the most from the mistakes you are able to recognize and correct on your own.
You can't recognize or correct mistakes that you don't look for ahead of time.
Some people will tell you they work best under pressure and they will procrastinate until the last second. I always wonder how much better that person could have done if they simply gave themself the time to really work on something and to improve it before sharing it?
No one who is hugely successful at what they do, has become so on a whim or because of luck. They have put in the time, the patience, and the willingness to improve their areas of weakness.
And this is the thing...those surprises that life throws at you...you'll find that the more prepared you are in your daily life, the easier it is to handle the curveballs that are thrown at you.
Love you when you're ready!
Mom
Life is going to throw many, many surprises at you. Things you can't control, things you have to react to immediately, and things that nothing can prepare you for. Whenever you encounter these surprises...just follow your heart, your gut, and use your common sense.
For everything else...prepare!
If you want to decrease stress and increase your self-confidence, then prepare for anything and everything that can be prepared for.
Test or exam - prepare.
Job interview or audition - prepare.
Going for groceries or buying a car - prepare.
I can't tell you the number of errors, mishaps, and stumbles I have witnessed only because the person simply didn't practice or prepare beforehand.
You are your own best teacher, you will learn the most from the mistakes you are able to recognize and correct on your own.
You can't recognize or correct mistakes that you don't look for ahead of time.
Some people will tell you they work best under pressure and they will procrastinate until the last second. I always wonder how much better that person could have done if they simply gave themself the time to really work on something and to improve it before sharing it?
No one who is hugely successful at what they do, has become so on a whim or because of luck. They have put in the time, the patience, and the willingness to improve their areas of weakness.
And this is the thing...those surprises that life throws at you...you'll find that the more prepared you are in your daily life, the easier it is to handle the curveballs that are thrown at you.
Love you when you're ready!
Mom
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
No Means No
Dear Claire,
If you've already read the post explaining that 'yes means yes', then you've probably guessed that 'no means no'.
Equally important as doing what you say you're going to do, is not doing what you say you won't.
If somebody asks you to do something, and you don't want to do it - say no.
However, don't say no, and then an hour later "change your mind". If you do this, than people will never believe you when you say "no". They will continue to pressure and persuade you, believing that you will eventually change your mind.
More than anything, you want people to believe you when you say "no".
If you don't know whether you want to do something or not, just say "I don't know, let me think about it for awhile". The best thing about this phrase is the word "awhile", this could mean thinking about it for an hour, a day, or a year! You've given yourself all the time you need to make a decision without committing to anything.
If you use the world "no" a few times with people, and you stand by that answer, than soon enough, as soon as they hear you say "no", they will believe you. Then you can live your life how you want to, not how others would like you to.
Love you, even when you say "no" to me (which at this point is about forty times a day).
If you've already read the post explaining that 'yes means yes', then you've probably guessed that 'no means no'.
Equally important as doing what you say you're going to do, is not doing what you say you won't.
If somebody asks you to do something, and you don't want to do it - say no.
However, don't say no, and then an hour later "change your mind". If you do this, than people will never believe you when you say "no". They will continue to pressure and persuade you, believing that you will eventually change your mind.
More than anything, you want people to believe you when you say "no".
If you don't know whether you want to do something or not, just say "I don't know, let me think about it for awhile". The best thing about this phrase is the word "awhile", this could mean thinking about it for an hour, a day, or a year! You've given yourself all the time you need to make a decision without committing to anything.
If you use the world "no" a few times with people, and you stand by that answer, than soon enough, as soon as they hear you say "no", they will believe you. Then you can live your life how you want to, not how others would like you to.
Love you, even when you say "no" to me (which at this point is about forty times a day).
"NO! I will not open my eyes for this picture!"
"No, this is really not my problem."
"No....I won't have these chubby cheeks forever so you better pinch them now!"
"No. I will wear whatever I want before 8am."
"No, I swear there's nothing in my mouth."
"I don't even have to say "no" and I'll still get my message across."
Monday, July 23, 2012
Yes Means Yes
Dear Claire,
This advice is super easy to say, but not always easy to follow.
It is simply that, yes means yes.
Incorporating this phrase into your values will improve many of your relationships, whether with friends, significant others, people at work, and those in your community.
What does 'yes means yes' mean?
It means that if you say you're going to do something, you're going to do it.
I know you're probably thinking that this seems pretty easy, but for most people, including myself sometimes, it's not.
The trick to being able to live by this rule is this: take time to think about something before agreeing to do it.
Ask yourself: is this something I really want to do? What if it takes longer than expected, do I want to put in extra time? Will I find personal fullfillment in this? Will I enjoy spending time with the other people involved? Do I have the energy to do this?
Remember, there are very few situations where you have to give a 'yes or no' answer immediately, yet most people feel that this is what they have to do.
Don't.
Take the time to think about something before you agree to it, especially if it's going to be something that may impact you in the long-term.
Obviously there's going to be times when you can't keep a committment, just don't let this become a constant, or people will lose their faith and trust in you.
Love you when you follow through!
This advice is super easy to say, but not always easy to follow.
It is simply that, yes means yes.
Incorporating this phrase into your values will improve many of your relationships, whether with friends, significant others, people at work, and those in your community.
What does 'yes means yes' mean?
It means that if you say you're going to do something, you're going to do it.
I know you're probably thinking that this seems pretty easy, but for most people, including myself sometimes, it's not.
The trick to being able to live by this rule is this: take time to think about something before agreeing to do it.
Ask yourself: is this something I really want to do? What if it takes longer than expected, do I want to put in extra time? Will I find personal fullfillment in this? Will I enjoy spending time with the other people involved? Do I have the energy to do this?
Remember, there are very few situations where you have to give a 'yes or no' answer immediately, yet most people feel that this is what they have to do.
Don't.
Take the time to think about something before you agree to it, especially if it's going to be something that may impact you in the long-term.
Obviously there's going to be times when you can't keep a committment, just don't let this become a constant, or people will lose their faith and trust in you.
Love you when you follow through!
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Don't Regret Your Regrets
Dear Claire,
For some reason, it has become the new thing to "have no regrets". I constantly hear people saying that they have no regrets because if it weren't for their mistakes they wouldn't be where they are today.
Mommy thinks that's mostly b.s.
There are some mistakes that you'll make in life that you shouldn't regret because you really will learn something from them. Most of this blog is made up of lessons that I learned the hard way, and if I hadn't taken those risks, I probably wouldn't be the person I am today.
However, there is nothing wrong with having regrets because for most of the mistakes you'll make, you should have already known better. The lesson didn't need to be learned, it already had been, you simply forgot that you knew it or you chose to ignore it. When this is the case, you better regret it, or you'll just do it again.
I regret being cruel to people when I was younger instead of trying to get to know them better. I regret judging people before I knew their story. I reget not being more honest in past relationships and friendships. I regret hiding my insecurities. I regret talking when I should have been listening. I regret not telling people how I really felt at the time. I regret making decisions based on fear. I regret rushing when I should have slowed down.
I knew better, even at the time.
Have some regrets and don't feel bad about having them, just try not to repeat them.
Love you even when you make mistakes - mom.
For some reason, it has become the new thing to "have no regrets". I constantly hear people saying that they have no regrets because if it weren't for their mistakes they wouldn't be where they are today.
Mommy thinks that's mostly b.s.
There are some mistakes that you'll make in life that you shouldn't regret because you really will learn something from them. Most of this blog is made up of lessons that I learned the hard way, and if I hadn't taken those risks, I probably wouldn't be the person I am today.
However, there is nothing wrong with having regrets because for most of the mistakes you'll make, you should have already known better. The lesson didn't need to be learned, it already had been, you simply forgot that you knew it or you chose to ignore it. When this is the case, you better regret it, or you'll just do it again.
I regret being cruel to people when I was younger instead of trying to get to know them better. I regret judging people before I knew their story. I reget not being more honest in past relationships and friendships. I regret hiding my insecurities. I regret talking when I should have been listening. I regret not telling people how I really felt at the time. I regret making decisions based on fear. I regret rushing when I should have slowed down.
I knew better, even at the time.
Have some regrets and don't feel bad about having them, just try not to repeat them.
Love you even when you make mistakes - mom.
P.S. - I also regret wearing purple tapered jeans, huge blue eye glasses and sweatshirts with loons on them. Horrifying.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Bliss
Dear Claire,
As you grow out of your childhood you are going to find that, in general, life gets more complicated. As these complexities begin to find their way into your daily life you will find it more and more difficult to live in the moment and really enjoy each experience for what it is.
I think the definition of childhood is simply a person who can live in the exact moment that they're in, all day, every day. This becomes harder to do as we age and take on more responsibilities and build more relationships.
It's absolutely crucial however, that you don't entirely lose this gift of being in the moment, especially in times of pure joy and contentment.
There are only a few times, looking back (I'm 31 years old right now!) that I really sat inside my feelings of joy. Only a handful of moments, that I really focused on all of my senses so that I would remember, not the details, but the actual feelings of joy I was having.
I can remember with absolute clarity driving to Port Dover, with my best friends in high school on a summer day. The sunroof was open, I was in the middle-back seat and we had the radio blaring as we sang along to every song the whole way there.
I can remember sitting at my desk looking out the window at 555 Water Street in Peterborough doing my "reading" for the week. I remember knowing that this way of life, of reading, thinking, sharing, and writing being my only work, was so incredible and that it would not last forever. In that moment I felt one-hundred percent contentment and so grateful to have this part of my life.
One of the best pieces of advice I received was right before our wedding day, it was to step back, at several points throughout the day, and take everything in. I'm so glad I remembered to do that because this entire day was pure joy and I can still feel my cheeks hurting at the end of the night from smiling so much.
The early morning you were born I remember like it was yesterday. That day, without a doubt, was the happiest moment of my life. I had never been so overwhelmed with feelings of immediate love until they placed you on my chest. I just kept you there for almost an hour and I'm so glad I just let time go by because that moment can never exist again, except within me.
I love you beauty and I pray that you will have so many moments of happiness to look back on.
Mommy and Daddy getting married...such a great day!
You only a few hours old...my little love at first sight
Mommy in university with her fantastic friend Krista...pure dancing joy!
Mommy with Leanne...happiness is when you can tell someone anything and they'll still love you! In this picture we had our whole lives in front of us and we were just so excited to get started :)
As you grow out of your childhood you are going to find that, in general, life gets more complicated. As these complexities begin to find their way into your daily life you will find it more and more difficult to live in the moment and really enjoy each experience for what it is.
I think the definition of childhood is simply a person who can live in the exact moment that they're in, all day, every day. This becomes harder to do as we age and take on more responsibilities and build more relationships.
It's absolutely crucial however, that you don't entirely lose this gift of being in the moment, especially in times of pure joy and contentment.
There are only a few times, looking back (I'm 31 years old right now!) that I really sat inside my feelings of joy. Only a handful of moments, that I really focused on all of my senses so that I would remember, not the details, but the actual feelings of joy I was having.
I can remember with absolute clarity driving to Port Dover, with my best friends in high school on a summer day. The sunroof was open, I was in the middle-back seat and we had the radio blaring as we sang along to every song the whole way there.
I can remember sitting at my desk looking out the window at 555 Water Street in Peterborough doing my "reading" for the week. I remember knowing that this way of life, of reading, thinking, sharing, and writing being my only work, was so incredible and that it would not last forever. In that moment I felt one-hundred percent contentment and so grateful to have this part of my life.
One of the best pieces of advice I received was right before our wedding day, it was to step back, at several points throughout the day, and take everything in. I'm so glad I remembered to do that because this entire day was pure joy and I can still feel my cheeks hurting at the end of the night from smiling so much.
The early morning you were born I remember like it was yesterday. That day, without a doubt, was the happiest moment of my life. I had never been so overwhelmed with feelings of immediate love until they placed you on my chest. I just kept you there for almost an hour and I'm so glad I just let time go by because that moment can never exist again, except within me.
I love you beauty and I pray that you will have so many moments of happiness to look back on.
Mommy and Daddy getting married...such a great day!
You only a few hours old...my little love at first sight
Mommy in university with her fantastic friend Krista...pure dancing joy!
Mommy with Leanne...happiness is when you can tell someone anything and they'll still love you! In this picture we had our whole lives in front of us and we were just so excited to get started :)
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