Save A Tree, Not A Boyfriend

Dear Claire,

If you end up anything like me, you're going to have a bleeding heart for people.  You're going to want to help others, you're going to stick your neck out for friends, and you're going to do try to lift people up.

This is (I think anyway) a great way to be.  I like helping people, I like seeing people succeed and I feel best about myself when I'm helping others reach their potential. 

So....I followed my passion and found a job that lets me do this five days a week.

If you want to help people, then help people.  Just make sure your boyfriend (and definitetly not your husband) is not the person who needs to be helped. 

Obviously, we're all humans and we've all got baggage.  But be attracted to someone who can carry at least a few of their own suitcases.

Obviously, when your partner is down or going through a difficult time, you've got to be there for them.  But be attracted to someone who actually wants to solve their problems, overcome their issues, and aim to be a better person.

Because, you can't save people.

You can help people, you can guide people, you can provide opportunities for people.  But you can't save people.

And all that helping, guiding, and providing takes a lot of time and a lot of energy.  Your home should be your soft place, your easy place.  Life, marriage, and mothering will be hard enough on it's own without having to save your husband too.  So my advice, find someone who needs a shoulder to lean on once in a while or an ear to listen, not someone who needs you to be their life preserver.

Love you when you've found your match,
Mom

People Are Good

Dear Claire,

Today I was overwhelmed by the kindness of others.

Right now, I'm working with a young girl, who is living in awful conditions.  She has lost over fifteen pounds in the past two months, not because she is dieting, but because she can only afford to eat one meal a day.

Now that I have you, it's just unbearable to see young girls living like this.  I can't help but imagine what I would do, if suddenly, you were forced to live like this.

In speaking with this girl, I learned that she needs some winter clothing and a few things for her house - a pillow and a blanket.  I know that she needs more, but is too proud to ask.

I quickly posted her needs on my 'Facebook' page and within minutes, several people contacted me with everything from clothing, to food and giftcards for this young woman.

So, whenever you're with a group of people, or watching the news, and everything is doom and gloom, remember that is not the whole truth.  The truth is that, time and time again, people are good.

I know that you will know this instinctively.  Because, you, my sweet little girl, will be good too.

Love Mom

Thanks to all those who are helping :)

Do Something!

Dear Claire,

One thing people love to do is complain about the state of the world. 

Lord knows why, but people love to sit around, talking about how awful young people these days are (guess what people - your grandparents said the same about you!), how violence is out of control, and everywhere you turn people are out of work, living in poverty, or struggling with addiction.

It's like a constant moan of doomsday.

Well, in your mother's humble opinion, it is okay to complain about the world...but only if you're willing to do something to help make it better!

That's right, if you're upset about poverty, than you need to be volunteering at a shelter or collecting donations for the local food bank.

If you're worried about people dying from curable diseases in third world countries, than find an organization that offers free immunizations and donate money to them right now.

If you think young people are going down the drain than become a "Big Sister" and make a difference.

It's really important to volunteer and there's always a need for more, so I really encourage you to find a cause that you're passionate for and help out in any way you can.

It doesn't matter if you can't donate thousands of dollars, if you can collect ten pairs of mittens and donate them to a local school or homeless shelter, than you've made a difference in the lives of those ten people. 

Love you so much when I see you helping someone else,
Mom

To my lovely readers...what causes are you passionate about?  Do you volunteer or donate to a favourite charity?