Risk It Baby!

Dear Claire,

When it comes to work, your mom, is a mini-risk-taker.  That's right, for the most part, I've followed pretty safe and traditional paths. I've always done what i've enjoyed, but never in a crazy, over-the-top, wild and throw all caution to the wind kind of way.

But here's the really weird thing.  When I have taken risks at work, they've always worked out in my favor.

Oddly enough, out of my four teaching positions, I only knew what one of them really was, when I accepted the job!

Being willing to dive into the unknown is what has kept me feeling challenged, what has stretched my learning, and was has forced me to rise to the occasion again and again.

In only nine years of teaching I have been willing, excited, and able to change.  Able to go with the flow.  Able to embrace newness.  Able to learn as I go.  Able to invent and create.  Able to fail and then learn from those experiences.

So DIVE IN!!!!    It will all work out in the end because it's your instinct to swim.

Love you when you're brave,
Mom

Wired for Struggle

Dear Claire,

Life is not always easy.  Things, crazy things, hard things, sad things, and really odd things, are going to be thrown at you.  As your mother it is my natural instinct to want to protect you from all of these things.

It's my instinct to want to jump in, rescue you, and save the day!

I will. And I won't.

If you're in immediate danger - I'm there for you kiddo.  If you've fallen way down the rabbit hole - I'm there for you kiddo.  If you ask for help - I'm there for you kiddo.

But...all humans are wired for struggle.  You are meant to fall down, you are meant to have your heart broken, you are meant to get picked last for the team.  You are meant to fail a test, come fourth place, and lose friends along the way.

Your brain wants you to get back up, it will help you find love again, and it will encourage you to try again, and it will lead you to new friendships.

Your brain will stop doing all these amazing and wonderful things for you, if I am always there to do them for you.  Your brain likes practice.  Your brain needs to learn from each of your little struggles so that it is there to help you when the big ones come along.

And the truth is, I can't always be there for you.  That's why you have you.  And you, are the strongest, most capable, most brave, most "cry for a bit and then pick yourself back up" person ever.  I know you're this way because it's genetic.  It's in your DNA.  You were born strong and everything you'll ever need can be found inside of you. 

So I encourage you to embrace the struggles!  Meet them at the front door, welcome them in and learn from them.  This is the best way to live and the only way to learn.  Triumph is not in the easy wins, it lies in the struggle.

Can't wait to watch you overcome,
Love Mom.

Someone To Look Up To

Dear Claire,

I don't know what things will be like when you're a bit older, but right now, it seems really hard for young girls to find a decent role model.

Obviously, there are amazing young women out there doing amazing things, but they seem to get a pin-head of media attention while the women who are spiraling out of control, are on the front page of every magazine.

However, once in a while, along comes a woman who graces the covers of magazines because of her talent, humility, and grace.

Enter Kate Winslet.

Most important, Kate is one sheer force when it comes to her acting chops.  I mean seriously, she's been nominated for SIX academy awards and even won for best actress.  The best part about Kate, is that she takes on serious roles.  She's not afraid to play kind women, lost women, cruel women, broken women.  Love her.

Kate is also fantastic because she's comfortable and honest about her body.  So many women, especially ones in the public eye, force themselves to remain rail thin, and after awhile, they really all seem to look alike.  Kate is different, she's a natural beauty who has made the decision to remain, naturally beautiful.

And in the spirit of giving and taking advice...I promise to take this nugget from Kate:

"I accept my body. I accept how I am and make the best of what I am given. Children orientate towards examples. That's why I talk solely positive about my body in front of my daughter."

Love Mom

What's your favourite Kate Winslet movie????

Just Do It

Dear Claire,

Boys.  Boys are going to consume your thoughts for at least a good ten years straight.  Something tells me that through much of high school you're going to be talking and thinking about boys a lot.

Here's my advice...stop talking about boys and start talking to boys.

That's right.  If you see a guy who you think you would like to get to know better - then go and talk to him.  Don't just stand there and hope he talks to you; make the first move.

Seriously, I wouldn't just let the salesgirl pick out my clothes for me!  I want to take a look around the store and choose what I like too!  The same goes for boys.

Besides, most guys are beyond thrilled if any girl approaches them, so just realize that you're doing the guy a huge favor just by saying "hello".

Here's the trick though...
You have to let the guy think they're making the first real move.  I don't know why, but as we all learned from watching 'The Flinstones', men like to think everything is their own idea.

So...approach the guy, say "hello" and introduce yourself, but then let him make the next move.  Let him offter the drink, let him ask for your phone number, let him suggest a date.

If he doesn't ask you out, no biggie, you only have to find one guy, everyone else is just practice.

Love you brave girl,
Mom


p.s. - I used a special technique with Daddy - talked to his friend first to see if he'd join into the conversation (lol - it worked!)

Timeless Tuesdays - Romantic Movies

Dear Claire,

If there`s one thing that`s timeless it`s romantic movies...people (I`m assuming mostly women) love them!

Now, I am the least cheesy-romantic person in the world.  It just gives me the heebie-geebies and makes me roll my eyes.

However, there is one romantic film that I LOVE.  Gone With The Wind.

Maybe it`s because the romance is hidden in between the deaths of three husbands, slavery, a civil war, trying to steal a best-friend`s husband, and the death of a child.  Just as I`m about to roll my eyes, the romance is over and I can go on watching.

But honestly, the romance in this film is great, because Scarlett is one tough woman and she makes her men work for it.

God, I love that girl.

Love you too Claire-Bear.
Mom

p.s. - If you want me to buy you the complete `Gone With The Wind`Barbie collection, I will.  But don`t me mad if I play with them when you`re not home.

Timeless Tuesday - Feminism

Dear Claire,

Any girl who knows anything, knows that 'Feminism' is not a dirty word. 

Hello - like to vote much?  Feel like you should be paid the same as men for doing the same job?  Think that women in other countries should be allowed equal rights if they want them (and of course they do!).  Think you should get to make decisions about your own body.   Then don't be crazy; you're a feminist.  And nothing is more timeless than equal rights.

Fearless Woman #3 - The One You're Related To

Dear Claire,

Don't be fooled by all of my 'Fearless Woman' entries being about famous people thus far!  You don't have to become a mega star to be fearless; the proof is in the women around you. 

Believe it or not, you come from a long line of many fearless women!  Now before we go into details it is important to know there is a huge difference between being fearless and being reckless.  Most women are reckless at some point in life, mostly between ages 14-24, when you will most likely make some pretty crazy (and sometimes dangerous!) choices.  Being reckless is part of growing up, and for the most part it's imperative because you will learn from some of these impulsive decisions (hopefully the first time around and with very little physical and emotional damage).  Being fearless however, means making a conscious decision, and even though you know the journey and the end point will be difficult, you do it anyway, because you believe the lasting outcome will be worth it.

Fearless Female Relative #1: Dr. Andrea Pomeroy (also known as Auntie Andrea)

Auntie Andrea is a real brainy butt-kicker!  After spending years doing a ton of environment saving/protection projects she moved all the way to Vancouver, BC and earned her PH.D!  Can you imagine being only 23 years old and moving all the way across the country alone?  She didn't know a single person living there!  Since then she's challenged herself by speaking at huge conferences, spending 3 months in a tent in Alaska, and climbing to the top of an 80 metres high wind turbine. 

Fearless Female Relative #2: Aunt Jeannie

Aunt Jeannie is fearless in a whole other realm; she is fearless with her emotions and her heart. Many years ago Aunt Jeannie had two wonderful children, Tammy Shannon and Shane Aaron.  Unfortunately, they were both born with a very rare, and at the time, unknown illness.  The illness had no name and only the symptoms, not the cause, could be treated.  These beautiful children spent many of their days living in the hospital until they passed away, Shannon at seventeen months old and Shane, shortly after his second birthday.  
Losing a child is the most horrific thing any mother can imagine; it is a pain that I literally cannot describe and pray I never have to.  
Eighteen years later, Aunt Jeannie decided to have another baby.  Medical innovations had occurred and the illness that she had lost both Shannon and Shane to had now been named and the cause determined. Despite her fears and the overwhelming pain of losing two children, Jeannie decided to make an extremely courageous decision and brought little Samantha into the world.  This is a fearlessness that only mothers who have been through the same suffering can understand.  Jeannie was brave beyond belief in her willingness to once again open her heart to a new life and nurture a new love.

       

Fearless Female Relative #3:  Teaghan Frauley

Did you know that your cousin Teaghan is a true warrior?  When she was just three years old Teaghan was diagnosed with Leukemia.  We were all so worried about her because she seemed so small to be so sick.  Little did we know that even though she was only a toddler; Teaghan was a fearless woman-in-training!  She was so brave through all the pokes and prodding, through the vomitting and exhaustion, and even through losing her hair.  Since then Teaghan has helped her family raise tens of thousands of dollars and donated all of it to The Hospital For Sick Kids - what an amazing young woman!  Here's a picture of her on her "Officially Cured" day:

Well Claire-Bear, these are just three of your 'Fearless Female Relatives'; there are many more!  Can you imagine what it would have been like for your Great-Nani Goepfrich to get on a boat and move all the way from Hungary to Canada?  What about your Great-Nana Chessum who took wonderful care of her husband who was paralyzed at a young age?  You even have a Great-Aunt Cathy who helps run an orphanage living in Sierra Leone!  You have so many amazing women in your family so you will never have to look far for inspiration.  Just think - being fearless is in your blood!  You were born fearless so it is up to you to rise to the challenge that you choose.

Love you a hundred times,
Mom

Fearless Woman #2 - Maya Angelou

Dear Claire,

To me the definition of a "fearless woman" is not a woman without fear.  In fact, she is a woman with many fears, but she is strong enough and brave enough to conquer them.

One fearless woman that all people (man or woman) should aspire to more like, is Maya Angelou.  Her list of accomplishments is too long for this blog but include publishing six autobiographies, five books of essays, numerous books of poetry, and is also credited with a long list of plays, movies, and television shows.  What a talent!

Being a female writer alone does not make one fearless.  What makes Maya so special is that she writes about her own life, and nothing is harder to write about, than one's own experiences.  She is willing to share her humiliations, her faults, her failures, her poor choices, and all that she learned from them.  As if that is not enough - she's African American!  An African-American Woman, willing to write her truth during a time of deep and unforgiving racism; now that is fearlessness.  

Many women, especially those who are "proud" and "strong", would never be willing to share their stories.  Never admit their wrongs or the wrongs committed against them for fear that others would judge them.  Maya shows that this type of opening-up is what makes a writer, and a woman, proud and strong. 


Did mommy mention that she writes some of my favourite poems?    Here are some for you to enjoy:

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Maya Angelou

 

 

Express Yourself

Dear Claire,

For some odd reason some women can't stand it when another woman is successful.  They call her a bitch, say she's controlling, and will say and do anything to knock her off her pedestal.  Don't be like this!  Be a cheerleader for other women and enjoy their successes as if they are your own.  This way, when it is your turn in the spotlight, other women will be praising you.

Fearless Woman #1:  Madonna

Hello - if there is a woman who is known by only her first name then she is some to aspire to be like! The thing about Madonna is this - you may not like her music, her videos, her clothes or shows, but this is a woman who demands respect. She always knows what she wants and she goes for it, whether she is nineteen years old or fifty.  She pushes boundaries even though it may make some people uncomfortable.  She asks questions that some people don't want to answer.  She's not afraid to discuss religion, politics, or sex.  She is the driver of her dreams and her goals and that is why she's been able to accomplish so much. 

Be your own version of Madonna and the sky's the limit kiddo!

Love Mom