Sunday, August 18, 2013

Breast Milk v/s Formula...The Real Truth

Dear Claire,

Lately, and by lately, I mean the last fifty years, the debate of breast milk v/s formula has raged on.

Lots of pressure being put onto mothers regarding their choice (or not!) of how their baby will be fed.  Studies showing that it doesn't matter, studies showing that one is better than the other, studies showing that one will make your baby smarter, study after study after study.

I wonder, will this pressure still exist when you (maybe) have children????

I just want you to know, all the studies are wrong.

I had an epiphany last night while you were in the bath and I realized the liquid that actually makes kids smarter.

It's the bath water sucked out of the face cloth.

That's right. You heard me, the bath water sucked out of the face cloth.

Both your Auntie Andrea and I did this obsessively and between the two of us we have five university degrees, so clearly, it's the bath water that really makes kids smart.

It all came to me in a flash of dirty-water brilliance when I saw you lapping it up in the bathtub yesterday.

So don't worry about what you feed your baby, breast milk or formula, they'll turn out just fine.  Well, just mediocre.  If you really want a smart kid, better get them chugging that bath water a.s.a.p.

There, now you can relax and just enjoy your baby, whatever she/he is drinking.

Love Mom


  1. haha, too funny if bath water makes them smarter than I have two geniuses on my hands! The formula/breast milk debate is intense. Sure I would have loved to have breast fed my babies instead of pumping and giving it to them in a bottle but hey lived. Then when my milk dried up I did wish I could have given them breast milk longer but it certainly wasn't anyone else's business. Graham couldn't get over his male work collegues that asked him if I was breastfeeding, he was literally shocked that they would care enough to ask. Anyways, we should start a movement to increase the awareness that bath water is the bomb!

    1. I know, people are OBSESSED! I will never get it. I don't understand why people worry so much about what other mothers are doing. As long as your not feeding your baby white wine, I'm good with you!